


The Pact

by bergec



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Adventure, Elves, F/F, F/M, Fantasy, Genderqueer Character, Half-orc, M/M, Multi, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Polyamory, Porn, Spells & Enchantments, Succubi & Incubi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-03 22:18:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 36,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17886179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bergec/pseuds/bergec
Summary: Lisa is a disgruntled barmaid in your ubiquitous fantasy realm when she finds her ticket to the big leagues. All it will cost is her soul.





	1. Lisa Finds a Scroll

Lisa notices the adventuring party rising from their chairs and sweeps over to collect the small pile of weird coins they’d left on the table. The elf and the walking arsenal drag the inert body of their wizard while the dwarf cleric shakes his head disapprovingly and mutters, “Lightweight.” 

She sidles up to the warrior with a big smile and asks, “Hey, big guy, need a bed-warmer?”

He chuckles and replies, “Already got one,” and pats the unconscious spellcaster’s back.

The elf smirks and comments, “You two are adorable. How about you carry him yourself, lover-boy.” With that, he lets go and flies up the stairs, barely touching the ground as he calls back, “Dibs on the single!”

“Fucker,” mutters the warrior as he tries to reposition himself before the cleric takes pity on him and lends a hand.

Lisa watches them ascend and biters her lip. “Bugger,” she mutters under her breath. Her little stash is smaller than she hoped it would be by now, even with the tip, and she honestly wouldn’t have minded the ride, if the bulk of his armor reflected what was beneath. She turns back to the table, cleaning up their mess, until she notices something left behind where the wizard had been sitting -- an ivory tube with arcane markings hangs from his chair by a simple leather strap.

“Huh,” she says to herself, carefully removing it and slipping it under her skirt, discreetly checking to make sure she is not seen. She finishes up her work, shoo’s out the last of the locals, and settles up with the owner, Bill, before climbing the stairs the three floors to her room in the attic. She lets out a long sigh once the door is closed behind her and then sits on her bed and pulls out her slate and cash box. She is happy to have her own room, even if it isn’t much bigger than a closet and the sloped room made half of it useless for anything but sleeping.

A few minutes of scratching with chalk on the slate confirm her earlier despair. She isn’t even a quarter of the way to her goal. Tossing the slate onto the end of her bed, she pushes the box back into its hidey hole with her foot and falls backwards onto the bed, clunking her head on the sloping ceiling on the way. 

“Fuck, ow,” she says pitifully, then remembers her find. A moment of rummaging under her skirts produces the tube and she momentarily wonders if it would serve as a fair supplement for a gay warrior before popping the end cap off and sliding out the scroll within. The light in the shadow of her bed proves insufficient for examination so she hauls her tired body back to a sitting position and scoots a little closer to the oil lamp.

“Whaaaat the hell is this?” she says to herself, trying to make out the infuriatingly arcane font of whatever sorcerous douchebag penned the thing. What prompted her comment though, wasn’t the words as much as the pictures and diagrams, which depict in excruciating detail a well-endowed male devil standing in a summoning circle with a prostrate naked woman on the ground before him. “Kinky shit,” she mutters, then begins to make headway with the script.

“Well, looky here,” she says and grins, leaning into the lamp to get better light. She reads the entirety of the scroll three times to make sure she’s got it right -- a ritual for entering into a pact with an infernal creature. Everything needed to summon and bind a devil to negotiate for arcane power. “This,” she says, flopping back on the bed once again, “This, is my ticket out of here.”

Lisa doesn’t feel at all guilty about stealing the scroll since the ritual specified this particular devil was only interested in entering into bargains with females. When the adventurers leave the next morning, they don’t even look for it or ask after it. Of course, they may be distracted by the constant whining of the hungover wizard. The dwarf seems to take inordinate pleasure in noting that he could fix it but feels that it builds character.

“Fuck you and your character, Karl,” the wizard spits as he stumbled through the door and then shrieks at first exposure to full sunlight. His boyfriend gently puts his great metal helmet over the miserable spell-caster’s head.

“Thanks,” comes his muffled response.

Lisa spends every free moment she can get for the rest of the day gathering up all the weird shit the ritual requires. Despite her excitement at finding a shortcut to vast arcane power, she worries a bit that she’ll spend the rest of her life shoving toads up her twat and snorting bat guano. Hopefully, she thinks, direct investment from dark creatures will let her have a little more dignity than she’s observed in the more traditional practitioners of the arcane arts.

When the day’s work is done, instead of going up to her room, she tells Bill she’s going to putter around the kitchen and slips out the back door. Snagging a hooded lantern she’s stashed behind the woodpile with the rest of her occult paraphernalia, she heads off into the dark woods behind the inn. She’s not without trepidation. The forest isn’t a safe place in the daytime, much less at night, despite the assurances of her best friend, Steve. Elves have a weird relationship with nature, so he doesn’t think of hungry wolves or territorial bears as mortal dangers as much as testy neighbors. Thus, his opinion on the matter wasn’t very reassuring.

She doesn’t have to go very far, though. The clearing she was heading towards was convenient and reasonably safe, which is why it was frequented during the day by horny adolescents. Rural life didn’t afford much privacy, so if you wanted to get it on with the hot milkmaid, you either risked discovery in a barn or took to the woods. She knew from experience that bears were preferable to gossip and public shaming, even with her sideline in casual prostitution (which, honestly, Bill was happy to ignore if he got his cut).

On arrival, she clears out a wide space of discarded clay jugs smelling of the local hooch and lost undergarments, and begins to set up the ritual in the dim flickering light. The noises of the forest make her jumpy but she resists the urge to rush, knowing that, as in baking, precision was essential to wizardry. At last, she stands over her work and nods to herself. 

“Not half bad,” she mutters, and starts to undress. She is a bit sarcastic about the nudity requirement, half suspecting that it was something the author put in for his or her own titallation, but was still unwilling to deviate just in case it actually mattered. She notes the state of her nipples and wishes the night weren’t quite so chill.

“Let’s do this,” she says and begins to speak the incantation, which she’s been repeating in her head all day. The words feel weird on her tongue and saying them out loud feels vaguely ridiculous. The nudity doesn’t help, either. However, the silliness fades as her efforts get results. First, the circle emits a dim red light and wisps of smoke start to rise from its interior. Second, there is a whining sound, like hot metal immersed in cold water. Lastly, Lisa begins to feel warm, like the air is heated from early fall to mid-summer and then on to where it feels like she’s in front of a bonfire.

She intones the final words while prostrating herself like in the picture, “I summon thee, Barry, Prince of Hell!”

There is a crack of lightning and a peel of thunder and the interior of the circle erupts into blue flames in which appears the shadowy form of a devil. As the fire dies down, she is able to get a good look at him as she stands. He’s incredibly handsome, despite being red with horns and a tail. He’s also just as naked as she is, which makes her feel a little less awkward despite his raging erection. He raises his clawed hands to the sky and throws back his head and laughs.

“Yes! It is I! Barry of the Lower Depths! Lord of the Pits of Lust! My appetites are legendary throughout the mutliverse --” he bellows, lowering his eyes to gaze upon her nakedness.

“Actually,” she interrupts, “Could we just get to business? I have to work in the morning.”

“What?” he says, sounding deflated. “Seriously?”

She nods.

“Alright,” he says, shrugging, “You’re looking for the usual pact?”

For a moment, the surreality of having a contract negotiation in the woods in the middle of the night, naked, strikes her, but she manages to reply, “Yeah… well, if the terms are right. The scroll was a little light on details.”

“Well,” he says, looking around the clearing and poking at the ground with his cloven hooves, “The terms are negotiable.” He grins and not in a pleasant way. I occurs to her she didn’t really notice the goat legs before but decided they didn’t really detract from her initial assessment of his attractiveness, which makes her wonder at her own predilections. “Soooo…” he prompts.

“Sorry, I was distracted,” she replies, blushing.

“I know, right?” he says with a huge grin, gesturing to his cock with both hands.

She frowns and stammers, “No… not… nevermind. Yeah, I want to get some damned power. Sorcery, demonic investment, whatever you got.”

“And in return, you will give me access to your soft, virginal flesh?” he asks with a lecherous grin.

““‘Virginal’? Think again, buddy, I work in an inn,” she smirks, then frowns and puts her hands on her hips. “Wait, so I get magic but you get to just pop by and rape me whenever you want?”

He looks appalled and replies, “What? No. Gods, what sort of contracts are you used to? It’s a pact. You can say no, I just withdraw the power I gave you if you do. Same as if I drop the ball, you get to cut me off.”

“Half-demon babies,” she asks, squinting suspiciously.

“No,” he shakes his head, “That isn’t a thing. We can’t breed with humans.”

“What about cambions?” she asks.

“Just warlocks trying to sound cool,” he admits.

“No shit,” she says. She looks thoughtful, then shakes her head and demands, “Wait, you give me all kinds of magic and all you want is to have sex with me?”

“Be my consort! Yes!” he replies with another huge grin. For a moment, he reminds her of the first guy she ever had sex with, a big goofy stable boy who was just way too happy to finally see unclothed boobs. It made it a little hard to take him seriously as a demonic lord.

“Why?” she asked, skeptically.

He shrugs and says, “I like human girls.”

She is well aware that the binding ritual makes him incapable of lying to her but still gives him a blisteringly sarcastic look.

“Have you seen what most demons look like?” he replies and shudders dramatically.

“That’s fair,” she admits. Suddenly feeling awkward, she looks at the ground and says, “So… how do we do this? Do you write everything out and I sign it in blood?” She glances back up at him.

He shakes his head and says, “No, with the binding ritual, it is all just agreed upon verbally and then we seal it with…” and he gestures again at his cock with a rakish grin.

She rolls her eyes. “How did I not guess?” she mutters. She squints at him and says, “You know, you are kind of an asshole.”

He shrugs and says, “I’m a devil. But, more specifically, I’m in incubus, which means I’m a preternaturally good lover.” He waggles his eyebrows suggestively, which elicits another eye roll from Lisa.

“Fine,” she says, “But I want more specifics than ‘magical power’.”

He quirks a brow and asks, “You’ve done this before?”

“No,” she replies patiently, “I’m just not an idiot.”

He smirks and says, “I like you. Alright, every month, on the new moon, I will visit your dreams and teach you a new spell. In addition,” -- he raises a finger -- “You will receive demonic investments which are an extension of my own abilities.”

“That still seems a little vague,” she muses.

He shrugs and says, “Take it or leave it. You can always break the pact.”

She’s wary. Really wary. But she’s not getting anywhere blowing adventurers at the inn for ancient dwarven coins. “Fine,” she says, squaring her shoulders and looking him in the eyes. “Barry, let’s fuck.”

He claps his hands and says, “Excellent!” He gestures to the circle and prompts, “If you please.”

She reaches out with her big toe and smugs the edge of the summoning circle and there is a shock that makes her yelp and an unpleasant whiff of brimstone. Without even noticing him move, suddenly he’s holding her in his arms, face buried in her hair, murmuring, “Oh, you smell so nice.”

Taken aback, she pushes him off. “Whoa there, Barry, slow down,” she says.

He replies, sarcastically, “I thought you had work in the morning?”

She glares at him and makes her way to a carefully cultivated bed of moss fed by the amorous excretions of a hundred horny teenagers. She lies down and spreads her legs, looks over at him and says, “Alright, let’s get this over with.”

He looks crestfallen and says, “That’s not very romantic.”

“Take me, big boy! Ravish me with your beautiful cock!” she says, sarcastically.

“Now you’re just being mean,” he chides, then gets a wicked grin and says, “Very well.” He’s on her in an instant, but not with his cock, with his mouth.

She yelps and arches her back, suddenly struck mute with intense pleasure. His tongue proves to fit the stereotype of a devil, long and forked, and he knows how to use it well. She nearly brains herself on the nearby oak tree as she thrashes under his ministrations. 

“Fuck, Barry,” she whines between pants, “I take it back. I’m sorry. You were right. You are awesome.” He gives her a thumbs up without stopping what he’s doing. She loses consciousness a couple times and comes around to find the devil just waiting idly with a maddeningly self-satisfied grin for her to recover. Finally, she has to beg him to fuck her. 

“For fucks sake, you horny bastard, just get it in there! I don’t have all night!” she screams, slapping at his horned head until he relents. He climbs on top of her and she realizes now that he has a somewhat animal musk which she’s pretty sure she wouldn’t find pleasant if she wasn’t in the throes of multiple orgasms. Rather than self-satisfied, Barry looks intent as he lines himself up and begins to enter her. It is at this point that she remembers how big he is.

“Okay, not too fast,” she pleads, but he proceeds with a steady pace that proves to be perfect. She closes her eyes and revels in the satisfaction of being filled, realizing how much she regretted that armored doofus not being keen on the ladies. 

She hears him hiss, “Yes,” in her ear and opens her eyes to see him towering over her, back arched, and the resemblance to the goofy stable boy is gone. All of her certainly disappears as he begins to fuck her hard. It feels great but she knows she’s made a terrible mistake. He is strong and powerful and hot, her skin reddening where they touch, his cock inside her like a hot iron. She whimpers and he smiles, showing his pointed teeth and forked tongue.

She closes her eyes as a panicked orgasm washes over her. Then she laughs. “Fuck it,” she says, startling him, then wraps her legs around his waist and urges him on, thrusting up against him. He laughs in return, a deep sound, and they couple madly until his whole body quakes and she feels a heat inside her like a furnace as he comes.

“Yes!” he cackles, “You are mine, fuck-slave!”

She pulls back and punches him hard in the face and he falls back, pulling out of her with a spray of hot fluid. He bellows, “What the hell?” as she braces herself and then drives her foot into his balls. He goes down like a ton of bricks.

She stands up then nearly falls down as her wobbly legs betray her. She grabs onto the nearby oak tree and looks down at him and says sternly, “No. Not what we agreed to, asshole. We can have sexy fun time, but I am not your toy. We are partners, get it?” For good measure, she kicks him again in the stomach.

He groans and then laughs, painfully. “Fair enough,” he sputters. He peers up at her from where he’s curled in a fetal position, and grins, saying, “If I’m good, can I fuck you in the ass?” and she feels his tail prodding at her backside. She yelps, tries to jump to the side, and ends up falling over onto her back.

“Asshole,” she says, staring up at the night sky through the tree branches.

“Devil,” he replies. Then, in a poof of brimstone-scented smoke, he is gone.

As she lay there, contemplating how thoroughly she may have just fucked up her life, she becomes aware that the heat of his infernal semen is both becoming less uncomfortable and that its warmth is spreading through her body and out her limbs. 

“This can’t be good,” she mutters awkwardly and then realizes that her tongue feels different. She sticks her fingers in her mouth and is startled to discover her tongue is now forked. Removing her fingers, she sticks it out and is alarmed to see it is also now twice as long. “Shiiiit,” she says sibilantly.

“Was that wise?” says a voice from above her. She turns her head a little and sees a cloaked figure perched in the branches of the oak tree.

“Oy! You some sort of fucking pervert, spying on me?” she demands, getting to her feet.

“As someone who just made a literal deal with a devil, you are hardly in a position to cast moral aspersions,” he says, climbing down from his perch. In the light of the lantern, she recognizes the unattractive orcish countenance of one of the local woodsmen. She stares at him in silence for a moment and he sighs deeply and adds, “What, just because I’m half-orc and a forester, I’m supposed to be monosyllabic?”

“Um, no?” she replies, guiltily, though her pause was actually because she realized she didn’t know his name, rather than commentary on his choice of words. “What are you doing here?” she demands once the awkward moment has passed.

He says, “Your vigorous coupling was rather loud. I investigated to make sure everything was alright. I was about to put an arrow into the demonic being I assumed was raping you, but then you… enthusiastically encouraged him, so I was put in the awkward position of waiting to make sure my assessment was accurate.”

“See, this is why people come to fuck here rather than in their comfortable beds! So they don’t have to answer these sorts of questions!” she retorts, poking him in the chest with her finger.

“I didn’t ask any questions,” he notes.

She just narrows her eyes at him and starts to dress, figuring clothes will make it easier to take the high ground. She does note that he doesn’t afford her any modesty, watching her dress with a sort of maddeningly calm detachment. This just makes things more awkward, so she asks, “What’s your name?” That’s two bits of awkwardness out of the way, she thinks proudly, trying to ignore the demon spunk dripping down her thighs.

He cleared his throat a little, then replies, “Bubba.”

She suddenly stops dressing and just stares at him. “Your name is Bubba?” she asks, incredulously.

He replies through gritted teeth, “It was my grandfather’s name.”

“On which side?” she asks while picking up the lantern.

He glares at her and she’s suddenly pleased with herself for piercing his eerie calm. It occurs to her that she may also be a bit of an asshole, so she murmurs, “Sorry.”

He takes a deep breath and sighs. He says, “It isn’t safe out here at night. Let me walk you back to the village.”

She nods and gestures into the woods. “Lead the way,” she says. 

He walks in the opposite direction she indicated and it takes her a moment to realize he’s right and she’d gotten all turned around, which just made her pissed off at him for being right. She follows in grumpy silence for a bit before getting distracted playing with her new tongue. Then she gets distracted looking at Bubba’s ass. Then she realizes that she was really, really horny.

“Fuck,” she muttered, “What the hell did I get myself into?”

“Yes,” he says over his shoulder. She can’t see it but she can hear the smirk and she glares at his back for the rest of the walk, trying to ignore his fine, fine ass.

When they are in sight of the back door of the inn he stops, still in the woods. He says tersely, “Here you are,” and she can sense the tension in him. It occurs to her that he probably wasn’t a woodsman by choice, given the village’s attitude towards orcs. 

She feels a sudden, intense well of sympathy for him, so as walks past him, she turns and says, “Thank you for trying to save me,” and kisses him on the lips. She meant it as a quick peck but the instant their lips touch, she feels a deep hunger and kisses him hard, wrapping her arms (and one leg) around him. He seems startled but then reciprocates. A minute later, they separate breathlessly and spend a moment staring into each other’s eyes.

“So, yeah, good night,” she stammers out, pulling back and walking quickly to the door. What the hell was that? she wonders as she lets herself in. When she glances back, she sees Bubba standing there in the shadows, staring after her in what appears to be a state of shock. She quickly closes and latches the door and turns to see Bill standing in the kitchen, looking pissed. Fuck, she thinks.

“Where have you been?” he demands.

“I…” she begins, trying frantically to think of a plausible story while she’s standing there, twigs in her hair and dirt and moss crusted to her thighs with semen. “I had to pee?” he finally manages to reply, lamely.

“Oh,” he says, anger draining from his face, “Okay. Well, get to bed. Another long day ahead of us tomorrow.” He turns and leaves. She hears his footsteps as he heads upstairs. 

She just stands there for a minute before saying, “What the fuck?” to the empty kitchen. The cat sleeping on the table has no commentary to offer, so she heads up to the attic and falls into bed without bothering to clean up. Her dreams are intensely pornographic and by morning, her damp bedsheet is wrapped around her and she smells strongly of sex. 

While she tries to compose herself, Bill pounds on her door. “Come on, Lisa! Wake up!” he bellows. 

She sighs and replies, “I’m just not up for it this morning, Bill.”

“Oh,” he says through the door, with the same tone as before in the kitchen. “Are you sick?” he asks.

“Yeessss,” she replies.

“Okay,” he says and she hears him walk off.

She frowns. She keeps frowning as she sneaks out the back and cleans up in the wash basin. When Bill’s wife Geraldine stomps over and demands to know why she’s bathing in the wash water, Lisa looks at her and offers, tentatively, “I’m not.” 

The big woman blinks and says, “Oh. Okay, then,” and proceeds to dump her armload of laundry into the tub, despite the evidence of last night’s activities floating in it.

Lisa gets out of earshot before says, “Well, damn.” Then she giggles with the pun. “Devil’s tongue makes me a liar,” she says to nobody and then nearly jumps out of her skin when a voice from the woods says, “Makes sense.”

She glares at Bubba, crouched in the shadows. “What the fuck, Bubba?” she demands.

He isn’t immediately forthcoming, so she asks, “Why are you following me?”

“I’m finding myself enthralled by your preternatural beauty,” he admits.

She gave him a hard look.

“No, seriously. I think I’m under some sort of enchantment,” he offers.

She thinks for a moment and then sighs. “The kiss,” she says.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking,” he says. A woman passes by and glances at her curiously, as she appears to be talking to a shrub, Bubba having disappeared into the darkness. When she’s gone, Lisa hears him say, “I don’t suppose you’re seeing anyone?”


	2. A Fellowship Forms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lisa consults with the divine and makes a decision about her future.

Lisa isn’t entirely sure of the thought process that led to her on her knees in a shrub, going down on a half-orc woodsman. She reckons it has a lot to do with the fact that she’s probably turning into a succubus due to her pact with the incubus Barry, but she thinks the idea was something along the lines of he might lose interest in her post-orgasm. Since she kissed him, he admitted to being obsessed with her and her experience as a part-time prostitute at the inn where she works leads her to believe that men’s interest tends to flag once they’d blown their wad. And so, here she is. Having settled on that rationale, she concentrates on the task at hand. Bubba, stoic ranger that he is, is subdued in his reactions and it is pissing her off.

“Lisa...” he whispers, eyes fixed over the top of her head. “Ugh,” he says instead and she feels a bit of glee, kneading his balls with one hand while the other squeezes his ass. She closes her eyes, lost in a moment of near orgasm as she tongues his cock like the consummate professional she is. She feels his ass clench as he makes another desperate sound deep in his throat and prepares for him to come. That’s when she hears a giggle behind her. Without thinking, she whips her head around just as he orgasms, which leads to the unique experience of being face-to-face with a gaggle of young girls while Bubba comes in her ear. 

“Ew! Ew! Ew!” she yells, lunging back from him, which leads to her landing on her ass in front of the voyeurs, who scatter to the four winds. 

Behind her, Barry sighs deeply and says, “That was unfortunate.”

She rolls over and glares up at him. “Fuck you!” she yells, indignantly.

He pulls his pants up, then offers her a hand and says apologetically, “Oh, I wasn’t referring to your attentions, which were very much appreciated. Merely the circumstances.”

She wipes at her ear with her sleeve and demands, “Well? How do you feel?”

“Oh, delightful,” he says with a huge grin and offers her a handkerchief. The expression is so out of character for him, it creeps her out more than the stalking.

“No, I mean…” she starts and then blinks. “Wait. Were you a virgin?”

“Well, yes,” he replies. “To tell you the truth, you’re the first person I’ve exchanged for than three words with since my mother died.”

She abruptly holds up a finger and says, “No, no, this is not a conversation I’m having right now. I have too much shit on my plate. Are you still obsessed with me?”

“Yes,” he says with a shrug, “Sorry.”

She grits her teeth and growls, “I have to talk to Steve,” before stomping off. She can’t help but notice several looks which speak to just how fast gossip travels in a small town. By the time she reaches the sacred grove, the looks have escalated into whispering and head-shaking and she’s thankful for the quiet solitude of the circle of huge oaks. Steve is standing by the spring, looking resplendent, as always, in his green cloak and shining mail.

She says to the paladin, “I need your help.”

He smirks, “Hast thou caught something from one of those filthy adventurers again?” and holds out a hand, which glows faintly with a holy green radiance.

She shakes her head, ignoring the dig, and says, “No. Can you remove an enchantment?”

He puts his hand down and says, “Yea, probably. Didst someone slip thee a love potion? Was it that half-orc ranger thou blew?”

She protests petulantly, “I didn’t blow him!”

“Why don’t I believe thou?” he replies with another of his smirks.

Lisa blinks. “Why don’t you believe me?” she says.

He frowns at her and asks, “Is there something weird going on with thine tongue?” He peers at her for a moment and sniff, then sighs and says, “Oh, Lisa!”

She holds up a finger and says sternly, “No judgments! Remember, I was there when you got drunk and tried to screw that tree.”

He winces, but says patiently, “There is a world of difference between youthful indiscretions and demonic pacts…”

“‘Youthful indiscretions?’ You were a hundred and twelve!” she says incredulously.

“Regardless,” he says through gritted teeth, then takes a deep breath and starts again. “Were thee charmed? Is that how this happened?”

“No, no,” she replies, “The pact was all my idea. But I think I inadvertently enchanted Bubba and now he’s following me around.”

“Who?” the paladin asks.

“The half-orc,” she clarifies.

“His name is ‘Bubba’?” Steve replies with disbelief.

She waves her hand dismissively and says, “It was his grandfather’s name.”

“So... “ he says, “Thou blew him and now he follows thee around? Thou knowest, I have a dick now ---”

“You are a dick now,” she says dryly, “And it wasn’t the blowjob that did it. That was… I was trying to fix it.”

He gives her a look and says, “Wouldst thou care to explain the thinking there?”

“Not particularly,” she admits.

“Alright. Let’s go see him,” he says.

A voice from above says, “Right here,” a moment before Bubba drops to the ground next to the two of them. The next moment finds him pressed up against the trunk of one of the ancient oaks with a longsword to his throat and an angry elvish paladin in his face.

“You had a lot more finesse when you were a woman, Steve,” Lisa opines, “Now you’re all butch.”

“This is why I don’t come into town,” Bubba offers.

Steve backs off and puts away his sword. “Sorry,” he says, “Thou startled me.”

Bubba frowns and looks Lisa. “Are we not going to say anything about the pronouns?”

She shrugs and says, “It’s an elf thing, you get used to it.”

The paladin clears his throat, “Shall I?” He puts his hand on Bubba’s chest and it glows again. Steve closes his eyes and then frowns. The light dims and he removes his hand. Looking at Lisa, he shakes his head, “I’m sorry. Faerie enchantments are easy to unravel but this demonic charm isn’t within my power to remove.”

“Great,” she says. 

Bubba looks apologetic and then starts to climb the tree.

“Where are you going?” she asks.

“Trying to stay ahead of the inevitable lynch mob,” he replies gravely before disappearing into the branches.

“I do not approve of orcs in the sacred trees,” Steve says.

“So, blowjob?” she asks, surprisingly herself a little. Not because she asked, this is precisely the sort of ribbing she always gives Steve, regardless of his gender. No, she’s surprised at just how much she wants him to say yes. Once again, that deep lust that Barry planted in her is messing with her head.

He shakes his head and says, “I’m fairly sure that laying with a warlock is against my vows.”

“Your loss,” she tries to say glibly, but manages to actually sound hurt. She stammers, “I have to get going. Bill’s probably looking for me to lecture me on morality.”

Steve isn’t able to get another word in before she rushes out.

True to expectations, Bill is waiting and sits her down in the kitchen, speech prepared.

“When I took you in --” he begins, but Lisa but him off.

“Bill, what is this about?” she asks, trying her damnedest to appear genuinely confused.

“Look, you’ve always managed to employ a degree of discretion but accidents happen. You just got sloppy, just like your parents --” he continues.

Lisa narrows her eyes. She had fully intended to deny everything and let the devil tongue do its work but he’d struck a chord. “Bill, fuck you. You take my money, so you can shove your sanctimony up your ass. I quit,” she blurted out to his apparent surprise, then stood up and went to her room to grab her stuff. 

He shows up at her door a few minutes later and says, “Look, Lisa, you’re like a daughter to me. Don’t make hasty decisions.”

She wheels on him and shouts, “Daughter, my ass! I’m slave labor for your business. Well, find some other homeless waif to bus your tables! I’m getting the hell out of this shitty town.” Then she grabbed the sack with her meager possessions and tried to push past him. He grabbed her arm roughly and blocked her passage and for a moment, they were eye to eye and she could see the violence there.

“Don’t,” came a soft voice behind him and she felt his body tense. Then he let go. She looked down and saw the point of a curved blade peeking out between his legs. The edge was nestled firmly against his balls. He managed to look terrified and enraged at the same time as she squeezed past him, trying not to jostle. In the hall, Bubba was waiting calmly, knife in hand. He gestured over his shoulder with his head and waited for her to start down the stairs before disengaging and following.

Once outside the inn, he asks, “Do you need anything else before we leave?”

She sighs inwardly at the ‘we’ but nods and says, “I need to make a stop.”

A few minutes later, they are standing in front of her parents. A few years back, a cockatrice had wandered into town and her parents were among the unfortunates to see it before Steve killed it. Now they stand forever in a back alley of the town, petrified in flagrante delicto. At least they look happy. Lisa says her goodbyes in silence, eyes downcast. Bubba, on the other hand, stares at them with a puzzled look on his face, turning his head this way and that.

“Your parents were certainly limber,” he comments approvingly.

She had meant to glare at him but instead just finds herself laughing. She nods and says, “They are an inspiration to us all.” She looks at the stone fornicators and smiles, “Way to go, mom and dad.” She turns to Bubba and says, “Alright, let’s go.”

“And where do ye think you’re going?” asks Steve, suddenly at the mouth of the alley.

“Fuck, Steve! It’s hard enough having one person sneaking up on me all the time,” she says, hitting Bubba in the chest with her hand, “What the hell are you doing here?”

He replies, approaching, “I went looking for thee and Bill said thou had left. I wanted to make sure thou wast alright and had a place to stay.” He glances at the statues and adds, “I suspect, though, given this visit, that thou art not staying in town?”

“No,” she says, straightening her back, “I’m headed to the city. Finally. I’m tired of waiting. I’ll figure it out on the way.”

“With thine new demonic powers and this love-struck fool?” he replied, sarcastically.

“Hey --” Bubba objects.

“Sure,” she replies, stubbornly.

“I’m going with ye,” Steve says.

She blinks. “What?” she asks.

“I’m going with ye,” he repeats and she finally notices that he’s equipped for travel. Which, being an elf, means that he has a couple extra pouches and the hooded cloak instead of the dress cloak.

She shakes her head, “But, your oath --”

“Another has been sent. Thou art my new mission,” he says, straightening his back and looking all noble and full of conviction. It takes all she has not to punch him in the dick.

She looks between the two of them and then says sharply, “Okay, this is not happening. I don’t need you two chucklefucks to protect me. I’m not some helpless maiden.” Both of them take a step back and she’s momentarily impressed with her own fierceness before noting their expressions. She asks, “What?” and then notes the smell of brimstone.

Bubba gestures at her calmly and says, “Your fists are on fire.” Steve nods in assent. She looks down and confirms that, yes, indeed, both her fists are swathed in bluish flame. She yelps and shakes them and they go out.

“Point taken,” Bubba says, without missing a beat, “But honestly, I’m not going with you because I feel you need protection. It is more like my every waking thought it consumed with you and proximity to your ungodly beauty is the only thing which makes life tolerable.” He looks at Steve and shrugs. 

Steve just looks hurt. He says, “This is because I’m a man now, isn’t it? Thou wast never like this when I was a woman. I have to save thee from damnation!” He pleads, “ ‘Tis my job!”

She goes to rub the bridge of her nose but pauses part way through the gesture, afraid her hands might flare up again and set her eyebrows on fire. She sighs and says, “Fine. You can come.” Steve immediately perks up but her heart sinks when she sees Barry at the far end of the alley, behind the two of them. He silently indicates that they should talk away from the two men. There’s also several lewd gestures and pantomimed sex acts which should irritate her but speak to the itch inside her.

“Wait here,” she says to the two of them, without explanation, and heads down the alley and around the corner to where her nude patron is enthusiastically grinning. “Now?” she asks, incredulously. “Here?” she adds, looking around at the relatively public side street.

“Afraid so,” he says, “That’s the deal.” He grins.

“You just waited until I didn’t have a private room anymore,” she accuses.

“Devil,” he replies and gestures to a pile of flour sacks against the wall. It irritates her to no end that she’s spent this entire conversation staring at his perpetual hard-on. She wants to tell him to go fuck himself, but she wants ever more to tell him to fuck her. She considers her predicament and how much easier things will be when she reaches the city with the ability to lie perfectly. 

Rationalization done, she walks up to him, looks him in the eyes, chin up, and says, “Fine.” Then she leans over the sacks, daintily lifting her dress to expose her backside to the devil. He wastes no time entering her from behind and her whole body shudders with pleasure as he grabs her hips and starts vigorously thrusting. 

“Fuck, yes,” she moans against the burlap, turning her head a little so she can breath. This gives her a good view of an appalled Steve staring at her while Bubba just sort of waits, leaning against a wall and watching with obvious interest. She holds up a finger to Steve, who just looks incredulous. He starts to pull out his sword and looks about to charge in but she calls out sharply, “Don’t you dare!” On top of her, Barry looks over, grins, and gives the paladin a thumbs up. The elf charges, but his sword whiffs through brimstone scented air. 

Lisa stands up and shouts, “What the fuck, Steve! I was so close!”

Steve just looks confused. “Thou were fucking a devil!” he says and then just seems flabbergasted that this explanation isn’t sufficient for her.

She looks between the two of them, then points at Bubba, “You! Finish me off!” She returns to her position on the flour sacks and looks back at him impatiently.

Bubba blinks and looks at Steve, but the paladin is no help. He shrugs, loosens his trousers, and steps into the devil’s spot. “Now, I’ve never done this before --” he says by way of explanation as he stares at her buttocks and looks like he’s unsure of how to proceed.

“Just shut up and put it in!” she insists, sternly.

Steve, for his part, just opens and closes his mouth and continues to look as if he’s finally come across a situation that over a century’s experience of the world has not prepared him for.

Bubba carefully lines up his cock and begins to push into the prone former barmaid, who just yells, “Harder, dammit!” So, he pushes in the rest of the way hard. His eyes grow wide and he murmurs, “Oh… oh... “ and then instinct takes over and he begins to fuck her.

From down the street, a voice says, “She’s at it again!”

Without opening her eyes, Lisa replies, “No, I’m not!”

The voice says, “Oh. No, she’s not!”

Meanwhile, Bubba has tapped into a part of his ancestry he’d long ignored and is growling as he slams into Lisa, much to her delight. The sounds of the two of them start to draw more people and neither is in a state to care. As they both reach howling orgasm, several members of the small crowd in attendance applaud. Bubba shakes his head, pulls out, and frantically pulls up his pants, looking panicked at the number of people, many of whom are obviously not pleased with this turn of events.

Lisa stands up and turns to face the assembled, eliciting a gasp. She glances at Bubba quizzically. He taps the top of his head and points to her. She reaches up and feels two small horns protruding from her hair. She grins. 

“Goodbye, fuckers!” she yells and takes a step towards the crowd. A number of people step back and a few flee. She grins, grabs her sack and Bubba’s arm, and walks confidently towards the edge of town. Steve appears from the alley as they go by and joins them.

“Proud of thyself?” he asks bitterly.

“Yes,” she says, “Yes, I am. Fuck them. And fuck you, Steve.”

“Oath,” he replies, but manages a smile.

“I’m not sure the road is a good idea for us,” Bubba says as she steers them in that direction.

“What other way is there?” she asks.

“The woods,” the two men reply in sync.

“The woods,” she sighs. She narrows her eyes at Steve and says, “You just want to fuck a bear.”

“‘Tis not that great,” he admits.

“Are you fucking with me?” she asks. When he doesn’t reply she sighs again and says, “Fine.”

The trio detour back towards the inn and past it, into the woods. Lisa doesn’t give it a second look. She feels fantastic, like she’s in control for the first time. After several hours of picking their way through underbrush and nearly losing a shoe to the mud, though, the romance of her new life wears thin and the reality of slogging through the woods for several days seems less palatable.

“All I’m saying is that if we wear hoods, nobody is going to notice that I’m a succubus and you’re a half-orc!” she protests while they make camp.

“Thou art not a succubus,” Steve objects.

“Shove it, Steve,” she replies, then looks at Bubba, hopefully.

He looks uncomfortable then mutters something she can’t hear.

“What was that?” she asks while picking burrs off the bottom of her dress.

“I’m agoraphobic,” he admits.

“What now?” she asks.

“He’s afraid of large open space,” Steve explains, sounding vaguely amused.

“Ah,” she says. She is annoyed but, again, feels a wash of sympathy for the lonely ranger. Followed, of course, by an immediately hot rush of lust. She swallows hard and stares at his crotch, remembering how good it felt having him ram his cock into her. She doesn’t notice she’s licking her lips until she notices Steve looking at her disapprovingly. She glances up to see Bubba squinting back at her with a similar look of hunger, but he looks embarrassed by her noticing.

“So, how do you know each other?” he stammers, looking between her and Steve.

Lisa gets a big grin on her face and says, “Well… Steve here caught me jerking off when I was twelve and offered her advice.”

“Her?” Bubba repeats, looking confused.

“Gender is kind of like clothes for elves,” Lisa explains, “Right now Steve’s dressing male.”

“We are mutable creatures,” Steve clarifies, “We don’t naturally have gender. But some of us like to experience it.”

“So… you don’t actually have a penis?” Bubba asks.

“Oh, he does. He’s quite proud of it,” Lisa says with a smirk.

Steve glares at her and says, “Allow me some dignity, thou devil-fucking wench.” Then he says to the ranger, “What’s thine story?”

Bubba says, “I was raised by my mother out here in the woods. The townsfolk were not… supportive of her lifestyle decisions.” When Steve quirks a brow, he continues, “She was a sage with an interest in orcs. She lived among them for many years, studying them, before they made her leave.”

Lisa asks, “Why’d they make her leave?”

Bubba looks uncomfortable, but replies, “They found her interest in them… creepy, after a while.”

Lisa grins and says lecherously, “Oh, I get it.” Bubba blushes deeply.

Steve says, “Ahhh…” and looks vaguely uncomfortable.

As night falls, Lisa looks for the least pokey place she can to sleep, the bundle of her clothes rolled up under her head. Steve wanders off a bit from the fire to commune with nature, as elves do, and Bubba ascends into the branches to sleep in a tree, leaving her alone. She tries to get used to the sounds of the forest and the near total darkness of the moonless night and is just starting to fall asleep when a voice in her ear whispers, “Finally alone.” She cracks one eye a little to see Barry’s yellow eyes glowing slightly in the darkness. 

“Sorry about Steve,” she murmurs.

“Eh, what can you do. Paladins,” he says. She can see the white of his teeth when he grins.

“Did you want something, Barry?” she asks softly, “I’m trying to sleep.”

“A blowjob wouldn’t go amiss. Your friend left me blue-balled,” he states, matter-of-factly.

“Poor dear,” she whispers sleepily and closes her eyes, “Put me in the mood.”

A moment later, she feels a hand under her dress, running up her thigh. It gives her goosebumps and her nipples perk up. She takes a deep breath and relaxes. His other hand slides up the other thigh and he parts them gently. She feels the tickle of his long forked tongue parting her labia and sighs turn to soft moans. It flicks at her clitoris and she arches her back, whimpering. She’s worried that Bubba will hear but then finds herself liking the idea of him watching. So much so that she orgasms.

The tongue then slides down and up into her, startling her with the new sensation that she gasps and almost pulls away. Two clawed hands hold her thighs tight, though, preventing her escape as the long, sinuous thing probes deep inside her, exploring her vagina. It hits just the right spot and she orgasms again. She grabs at Barry’s horns to push his head away, but he gets the hint and backs off. He trails his tongue out and down her thigh, all the way down the inside of her leg to her ankle, making her shiver.

“Alright, get up here,” she says hoarsely. She starts when he leaps from her feet to a position straddling her chest, his cock suddenly hanging in front of her face and she begins to reconsider. She’s sucked off big men before but there’s something about a bright red cock dripping pre-cum so hot that it steams in the cool night air that can intimidate a girl. In the end, her growing sense of self-determination (and, to be fair, raging demonic lust) give her the courage to soldier on. She closes her eyes, though, and it helps.

The heat of it is startling, but more so, that it doesn’t bother her. Like, she recognizes that it is hot but it isn’t uncomfortable. She files this away in “things to think about when you don’t have a cock in your mouth” and pulls it closer, feeding more of it between her lips. It is obscenely satisfying, even when it passes the point of comfort and she’s taking it down her throat, barely able to use her tongue. She vaguely registers Barry’s hands on her head and has the presence of mind to point a finger at her threateningly. He relents and she keeps control of the pace. In and out, slowly, doing the best she can, until her rising feeling of urgency causes her to step up the pace, hands grasping his ass and pulling him against her.

She is deep-throating him when he comes. He makes no sound except for a deep exhale. She claws at his thighs as she orgasms and then pushes him away abruptly, gasping for air once they are disengaged. As she’s catching her breath, she is aware of the heat of his cum, like boiling water in her belly, and also that he isn’t there anymore. She lays her head back down and closes her eyes, falling asleep almost instantly. When she dreams, Barry is there.

“Lesson one,” he says. “Infernal flame.”


	3. An Uneventful Journey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lisa and her companions make their way to the Big City.

Lisa awakes to the wet warmth of urine splashing against her hand.

“What the fuck?” she shouts at the shadowed upper branches of the tree she’s lying under as she rolls out of the way.

“Sorry,” comes Bubba’s apologetic reply, “I’m not used to travelling with other people.”

A chuckle proceeds Steve as he re-enters the clearing whence he was meditating and Lisa glares blearily at him as she wipes her hand on the bottom of her soiled dress. 

Bubba descends from the tree and says, “I’m going to find something to eat. Can one of you start a fire?”

Lisa idly gestures at the remains of last night’s campfire and it flares into blue flame with a whiff of brimstone. With her other hand, she tries to get tangles, sticks, and small woodland creatures out of her hair, oblivious to Steve’s hard stare or Bubba’s momentary pause and then shrug before he heads off to hunt. She sits by the fire and stares into it blankly.

“New trick?” Steve asks sarcastically, sitting across from her. She peers at him through the flames and is immediately annoyed at how composed and clean he looks.

“Sticking with the cock?” she asks. “I thought, maybe, after yesterday’s whining that you might come back to Team Boobs.”

He smirks and says, “I am not so easily dissuaded. It still has much to teach me.”

She raises an eyebrow and asks, “Your cock?”

“No,” he says with irritation, “The experience of being male.”

“Cause… I could probably teach your cock a thing or two,” she teases, grinning at him lecherously.

He ignores her and pokes at the firewood with his foot, frowning. “I don’t think there’s enough wood left to keep this burning,” he offers.

“Don’t worry about it,” she answers with a dismissive wave of her hand, “It is fueled by the fires of Hell. It doesn’t need fuel.”

He looks greatly put upon, but Bubba interrupts with a brace of woodcocks, which sends Lisa into a fit of giggles.

“Is she okay?” Bubba asks Steve as he sits and begins to pluck the birds.

Steve offers a non-commital gesture and continues to look annoyed.

“Is it safe to cook on this? It smells funny,” Bubba asks, gesturing at the fire with denuded poultry.

Steve shrugs. Lisa leans over and grabs the second bird to help with the preparation. After a satisfying meal that smells only faintly of sulfur, the three put out the fire and tromp off into the woods.  
“I feel gross,” Lisa says.

“You look fine,” Bubba replies. Lisa gives him a skeptical look.

“No, she’s right. She’s a mess,” Steve confirms.

“Thank you,” Lisa says appreciatively, but punches him in the arm anyway. “How the hell are you so fresh?”

Steve replies, “I look how I want to look. It’s part of being a being of mutable form.”

“You suck, you know that,” she says levelly.

“There’s a stream,” he says, gesturing in what seems to be a random direction.

She punches him in the arm again and says, “Thanks, again,” and goes trotting off in that direction.

“What was that for?” Steve calls after her.

“You know what you did!” she replies before disappearing from view.

“Thou had better go keep an eye on her. I have to do something,” Steve says to Bubba, who bolts after her a little too eagerly. When he catches up to her at the babbling brook, she’s already in the process of getting undressed. He considers her modesty for a moment and then he finds a rock to sit on and watches her bathe.

“While it isn’t as creepy as watching me from a bush or a tree,” Lisa observes, “It is a little familiar.”

He retorts, “We had sex in public twice yesterday.”

She considers this, shrugs, and says, “That’s fair.” She turns away from him, bends over, and gives him a good view of her rear end as she vigorously scrubs at her asshole with her finger. He blinks and wordlessly turns around. She chuckles and mutters, “I thought so.”

Now with a modicum of privacy, she tries to do the best she can cleaning up without any soap or washcloth. Twice, she nearly falls over after stepping on sharp stones in the bed of the stream, and is really happy that Bubba doesn’t see her frantic flailing to avoid this fate. Just as she is finishing up, she sees a stirring in the water and suddenly considers the idea of something living in the water with her.

To her great surprise, the disturbance coalesces into a woman-shaped form made of water. Rather than alarm, she feels a heat in her loins and a fluttering in her heart, and thinks to herself that this is the most beautiful creature she has ever seen and is delighted when it moves up to her and cups the side of her face, leaning in to kiss her deeply. She barely notices as she starts to drown, pressing herself against the cool watery breasts of her attacker.

“Vivian! Knock it off!” comes Steve’s highly irritated shout from the shore. Bubba looks over his shoulder and just has time to see the water woman before she disappears in a splash.

Lisa sputters, “But… but… no! Come back!”

Steve wades into the stream and touches her forehead. In a flash of green light, her intense infatuation disappears. “Sorry,” Steve says as he retreats from the water, “I should have warned you about her.” Once he’s standing on the shore, she notes that he’s not the least bit damp.

She blinks and says, “Shit. Wow. So that’s what that feels like.” She gives Bubba an apologetic look.

“Don’t worry about it,” he reassures her.

“Ready to go?” Steve interjects impatiently.

Lisa sighs and says, “I guess.” She picks up her dress from where she left it rinsing in the current, wrings it out the best she can as she steps out of the stream, and pulls it on over her head. She notices Bubba looking at her and winks at him.

Steve says, “This might make things easier,” as he leads them back to the game trail that serves as a path. When they arrive, a large white stag is standing there. It gives them an appraising look and then tilts its head at skeptically at the paladin.

“Yes!” Lisa screams and tackle-hugs Steve from behind, nearly knocking him off his feet. 

“Settle down,” he says, “Now, there’s rules. Don’t pull any of that stuff thee did last time.”

Lisa gives an uncomfortable laugh and says, “No, no, of course not. Too much to drink. Not like me at all.” The stag looks at her sternly and she stares at her feet.

“Alright then,” he says and, in one swift movement, mounts his majestic steed, offering a hand for Lisa. She joins him somewhat less gracefully. Bubba looks skeptical when he is offered a hand next, but deftly joins the two of them without comment.

Oh dear, Lisa thinks to herself, This might be a problem, as the stag leaps forward and she is suddenly acutely aware of her body. Her arms are wrapped around Steve and she is pressed against his back. Leaning forward a little, she can bury her face in his hair. It smells the same as it did when they used to fool around when he was still a woman. When she does this, her breasts press hard against his back and she could imagine she could feel the hard links of his mail even through the cloak. 

Behind her, Bubba is trying to balance in such a way that he doesn’t press against her, arms strategically around her waist. Not too low, not too high. Nonetheless, with each leap of the stag he can’t help put push against her a little and she can feel the hardness of his erection against her ass. The animal’s rocking motion also rubs her crotch against the firm muscles of its back, eliciting a soft sighs from her as she is quickly aroused. 

She glances back over her shoulder and gives Bubba a pleading look, nodding frantically, and he gets the message. His hands move a bit higher, brushing the bottoms of her beasts with each jostling leap. Then he gets a bit bolder and actually cups them as well as he can without losing his grip. This also necessitates moving up close to her, so his trouser-clad cock rubs against the cleft in her buttocks through the damp dress, which clings to her like a second skin. As she feels her first orgasm approaching, she nuzzles the back of Steve’s neck and hears him whispers, “Lisa?” She doesn’t reply, but shudders with her release, moaning into his hair.

The ride continues like this. Her hypersensitive body is in a state of continuous arousal, riding from one orgasm to the next. At some point, she is aware of Bubba coming. Not just of his sharp grunt but she can feel a new dampness against her ass, unlike the lingering water of the stream, warm and thick. She wonders if he got his cock loose from pants, but the question is lost in the next wave of sensation. She feels like she’s caught between consciousness and sleep, lost in ecstasy, part of the powerful creature composed of four beings fit together like a puzzle, perfectly matched.

When she becomes aware of her surroundings again, she finds herself alone on a bed of leaves and grass in a meadow. The sun is not in the sky but it is still light, the colors of dusk visible through the whole in the canopy. There is the sound of running water nearby but no sign of her companions as she sits up and surveys the surroundings. There is, however, a unicorn. It is on the other side of the clearing, merrily eating grass while giving her the stink eye.

“Yeah, fuck you, too, buddy,” she says and it snorts back in derision. She throws a pebble at it and misses. It leaves, but with a definite not on your account attitude. She considers setting it on fire, but figures it would irritate Steve.

“How you feeling?” queries Bubba from some hidden location.

“Really, really good,” she admits, standing and stretching. She is irritated at the way her stiff and still vaguely wet dress clings to her and so discards it before stretching more freely, being sure to arch her back in such a way as to really push out her breasts for the lovelorn half-orc.

“Sorry about the dress,” he says, guiltily. She glances down and notes the large cum stain around where the small of her back was. “Should I clean it.”

“Fuck that,” she says and snaps her fingers. The dress smolders briefly and then catches fire. She watches it with a merry grin, then does a little dance. She really does feel great.

“Um… was that a good idea? It didn’t look like you had a lot of clothes,” Bubba says with a concerned voice. He sounds closer.

She stretches a third time, and this time it is purely gratuitous. She realizes that she’s hoping to lure him out when Steve’s voice says, “Seriously? How canst thou still be horny?”

She looks over her shoulder at him seductively and says, “Succubus.” She flicks her forked tongue at him and continues, “Come on, big boy. Come here and fuck the evil out of me. Fill me with your holiness.” The words just come out, surprising her. But she remembers the smell of his hair and the feel of his hips under her arms and suddenly, desperately wants to fuck him.

Steve looks conflicted and she can practically hear Bubba holding his breath in anticipation. He walks towards her, but stops short of her waiting embrace. Instead, he takes off his warm cloak and wraps it around her, carefully fastening the brooch under her chin. He looks into her eyes and says, “I love thee. But no.”

She blinks. Then she blinks again.

He sighs and says, “Don’t get sentimental. I love thee like a... “ he acts thoughtful, then says, “A pet. Dead and gone in the blink of an eye.”

“You prick,” she says and kicks him in the shin and while part of her appreciates the joke breaking the tension, another part files away the admission for further consideration. She asks, “Where the hell are we?”

Steve says, “About an hour from the city.”

Lisa frowns, “That was fast.”

“There was some magic involved,” Steve admits, then frowns, “Seriously, though, I am concerned about thine inexhaustible libido. This isn’t like thee. This… agreement thou hast entered into is corrupting thine soul.”

“You mean corrupting my loins,” she replies and grins. “Eh?” she looks at him, then towards where she thinks Bubba is hiding. “No?” he admits, crestfallen.

Steve clears his throat and says, “Please break the pact.”

“Fine,” she says, “I’ll do it.”

“Thou art lying,” he replies.

“Why the fuck doesn’t it work on you?” she yells, stomping her feet and instantly regretting it as she stubs her toe on a rock.

“I’m immune to thine demon magic, woman. I’m a knight of the green order,” he explains, self-importantly.

“Oh yeah? How about this?” Lisa replies. She throws her arms around his neck and kisses him deeply. After a second of hesitation, he returns the kiss, obliterating her spite. She closes her eyes and melts against him, noting how it feels a little different, but not entirely, from when they’d kissed before. 

After a minute, the need to breath forces her to disengage. She remains pressed against him and they stare into each other’s eyes for a moment before he says, softly, “Didn’t work.”

“Well, poop,” she says grumpily and lets him go. “Now what?” she demands.

“We have two options,” Steve replies, nonplussed, “We can stay here in this beautiful meadow and enter yon city on the morrow, or find an inn for the night.”

Lisa and Bubba reply simultaneously: “Inn.” “Meadow.”

She narrows her eyes at Bubba who just shrugs and says, “I don’t like cities.”

“While I am tempted to side with the orc --”, Steve begins.

“Half-orc,” Bubba interjects.

The elf waves him off and continues, “The prospect of thou sleeping naked in the woods this close to the city seems unwise.”

Lisa casually notes, “I can set men’s balls on fire with my mind.”

Bubba squirms but Steve says, “Be that as it may --”

She interrupts, “But, since I want to sleep in a bed tonight, anyway, so go ahead and protect my virtue.” She smiles innocently and bats her eyes at him. Somewhere in the woods, she imagines she can hear a unicorn snicker.

Steve sighs and rolls his eyes. He pats Bubba on the shoulder and says, “Sorry, big guy.”

A short while later, the three of them are within sight of the gate. Lisa, wrapped in Steve’s large cloak so as not to “draw attention” as he put it, is overwhelmed. She’s never been to the city and, even though she’s pumped adventurers for information (sometimes literally), their descriptions pale in comparison to the reality of the thing. The fifteen foot stone wall seems to extend forever in either direction, like a barrier separating her world from a new and frightening world beyond.

Bubba, for his part, is hyperventilating. He’s been squirrelly since they left the forest and entered open farmland but the sight of this edifice of civilization, which has never been his ally, is increasing his anxiety to blind panic. Steve glances at him sideways and then puts a hand on his shoulder. There is a soft green light and the half-orc suddenly feels calm. He looks at the paladin thankfully and, for the first time since they met him, smiles. It would be sweet except it shows off his orcish half-tusks and his pointed teeth, which are more menacing than friendly.

Lisa finally says, “Here goes,” and proceeds towards the gate. A passing farmer, driving his cart back home at the end of the day’s trading, whistles at her and asks, lecherously, “You got anything on under that, sweetie?”

“Yes. Yes, I do,” she replies sweetly.

“Oh,” he says, looking momentarily stunned. “Okay, then,” and returns his attention to the road.

Steve frowns and asks, “Will ye stop that?”

“Probably not,” she admits and offers him the same sweet smile. He reaches out and tugs the hood up a little more to cover her horn nubs.

Two bored guards await them when they reach the massive gate.

“Do you have anything to declare?” one asks, glancing longingly over his shoulder at the bustling city behind him.

Lisa grins and says, “I declare that you look pretty fine in that mail, soldier!”

Steve slaps his forehead.

The guard scowls, “I’ll have you know that I’m a happily married man --”

The other soldier interjects, “But I’m not. What are your rates, honey?”

“Let’s talk,” she says and hooks her arm through his and draws him towards the gatehouse.

“Cover for me,” he whispers to the first guard who looks put-upon.

Bubba and Steve exchange a is-this-really-happening look, then wait.

Five minutes later, the pair returns. Lisa is carrying a coin purse in one hand and wiping her mouth with the back of the other. She gives the guard a peck on the cheek before joining the others.

“Come on, boys. I have a line on a good inn,” she says, taking their arms and moving them through the gate. She offers a last wink at the grumpy married guard before they are out of sight.

“I can’t believe thou did that,” says Steve.

“Don’t be such a prude,” she replies, then adds, “Besides, I didn’t blow him. I just told him I did.” She looks inordinately pleased with herself.

Steve practically yells, “That’s not better!”

“It was a tough call,” she continues, ignoring him, “I am horny as hell.” She slaps Bubba on the ass, who yelps. He looks like he desperately wants to disappear into the shadows.

The lull in conversation allows Lisa to concentrate on her surroundings for a moment. It is like the town, but more. The buildings are larger, the streets wider, the people more numerous, the smell of shit and urine stronger. After her initial awe, she has to admit she’s a little disappointed. Unfortunately, her confident strutting is doing nothing to conceal the fact that she’s naked under the voluminous cloak. Several times, passers-by murmur, “Is she naked?” to which she responds, “No,” and they apologize, “My mistake.”

“We should get inside,” Steve says darkly, “How far to the inn?”

“Right there,” she says, gesturing to a three-story building that has just come into view as they a small square centered on a well. It seems bustling, full of lights and music and loud conversation. The sign over the door shows a farmer with his pants around his ankles, drunkenly fucking surprised goat. Lisa stops before it, peers up at the sign, and says wistfully, “These are my people.”

Bubba murmurs, “I can’t do this,” with wide eyes as Lisa opens the door, revealing a packed common room, and strides in. Steve follows her swiftly, giving Bubba an apologetic look. 

The confident warlock makes her way through the crowd with the deft precision of a career waitress to reach the barkeep. She sidles up to the bar and leans to to be heard, not really taking into a account that this causes her cloak to part, giving the huge man an excellent view of her breasts. “Hey there. We’d like to get a room,” she says, becoming aware of her predicament when she notes the trajectory of his gaze.

He asks distractedly, “Welcome to The Buggered Goat. Business or pleasure?”

She frowns, then gets his meaning and would look scandalized if she hadn’t just committed faux-prostitution not ten minutes ago. “Oh,” she says, “Just pleasure. I mean, not pleasure. Um, just passing through.”

Steve suddenly appears next to her and says, “Two rooms, actually,” and deposits a small pile of silver coins on the bar, “The best thou have available, as well as food and drink.”

The barman looks up at the end and blinks, stepping back a little. Lisa is confused until she remembers he’s a fully armed and armored knight, not just her pain-in-the-ass best friend and kinda ex. He nods, takes the money, and says, “Top of the stairs, all the way up. Room on either side of the landing. Do you want to eat in your rooms?”

“Here’s fine,” Lisa says, gesturing at an occupied table near the bar. The barkeep seems about to protest when she says to its occupants, “You’re done.”

“Oh yeah, gotta get going.” “See you tomorrow, Bob.” “Say hello to the wife.”

The three men get up and leave their mostly uneaten food and full drinks, allowing Lisa to happily choose a seat and help herself to a piece of cheese. She smiles angelically at Steve, who seems to contemplate murder before joining her. A barmaid comes and clears away the partially eaten food and brings more drinks. Lisa gropes her, out of a sense of duty. She knows Steve won’t do it and she doesn’t want their server to miss out. She is a little surprised when the buxom woman gives her a smile and a wink. Lisa watches as she stops to speak with her boss on her way to the kitchen, gesturing to them with her chin and exchanging words. When she notices the warlock watching, she gives her a sly smile.

“Oh boy,” Lisa says, then frowns and asks Steve, “Where’s Bubba?”

“He couldn’t handle the crowd so I left him outside,” the elf replies as he scans the room with his hand on the hilt of his sword.

“Oh, poor Bubba!” she cries. When their waitress returns, she asks her to have food sent out “to the squire”.

Steve gives her a look and she replies, “What? It seems like a simpler explanation than ‘the ranger who is enchanted by my dark magic’.”

He says darkly, “I don’t approve of casual lying.”

She looks incredulous and notes, “Your people are renowned and feared both for their ability to disguise the truth and enchant mortal minds. I just don’t get what your problem is!”

He leans forward, keeping his voice low, and says, “This isn’t faerie magic. Which, thou well know, I also disapprove of to a large extent. This is, as thou say, dark magic. The power of hell and the infernal hosts. Every time thou uses it, it corrupts thee. Each step along this path will lead you to darker urges. It starts with lying and manipulating people, but eventually thou will be sacrificing children to thine dark lord!”

Lisa pouts and says, “Barry isn’t like that. He’s a total horndog.”

Steve’s moralistic rant is stopped short. “Your dark lord is named Barry?” 

“So?” she says.

Steve leans forward and buries his face in his hands. He mutters, “I thought he looked familiar.”

“Wait,” she says, “You know him?”

“Keep it down!” he hisses. He spends a minute equivocating, then says, “He’s my ex.”

“Wait. What? You dated a demon?” she replies in disbelief.

“No!” he insists. “He was an elf. And then…” he looks flustered and gestures at her, “This happened to him. It is why I joined the order.”

She put together, slowly, “So, you became a paladin because your former boyfriend made a pact with a demon?” She looks guilty. “I’m sorry?” she ventures.

He lowers his head back down and begins to bang it slowly on the table.

“What a weird coincidence?” she offers.

He stops but doesn’t lift his head, but replies, “I doubt it.”

They sit in silence for a bit, picking at the food, and half-listening to the way-too-drunk gnome bard try to string together two notes with his lute before the barkeep physically picks him up and deposits him out on the stoop. The waitress stops by at one point to tell them that she couldn’t find Bubba. Lisa nods distractedly and assures her it is alright. The waitress takes an opportunity to grope her while clearing the plates, which breaks her out of her melancholy.

“Are you okay?” she asks, once the barmaid is gone.

Steve shrugs, then says, “At least there is one silver lining.”

“What’s that?”

“As you said, Barry is a horndog but he’s not evil,” Steve admits.

“What about that whole spiral of corruption business?” she ventures, cautiously, “Shouldn’t he be sacrificing babies by now?”

Steve glares at her a little but his heart just isn’t in it.

“There, there,” Barry says, patting the elf’s hand, “Don’t take it personally.”

Steve leaps out of his seat and draws his sword in one swift motion, yelling, “Begone, spawn of darkness!”

Barry’s grin is the last thing to disappear as the sword swings through brimstone-scented smoke.

The bar is dead silent when Lisa comments, “Yeah, he’s definitely fucking with you.”

The noise resumes once it is clear there is to be no more entertainment. The bartender gives Steve a stern look, though, and pantomimes putting away his sword. Steve drops back into his seat, dejected, and his head returns to his hands.

“Let’s go get some rest. Maybe things will look better in the morning?” Lisa says, patting him shoulder.

When she finally reaches her room after putting Steve in his, Lisa is not the least bit surprised to find Barry waiting in her bed.

“Long day?” he asks, stretching out in what she is sure he thinks is a sexy manner. She notes that he isn’t wrong.

She comes and sits on the end of the bed daintily, smiles sweetly, and then reaches out and grabs his balls and squeezes hard.

“Whoa! Whoa! What’re you doing?” he shrieks.

“You fuck with my friends, Barry, and you fuck with me,” she says calmly, squeezing for emphasis. “Now, I like our arrangement. Prostitution is so much easier when you don’t actually have to do anything. But I’m not going to let you torture Steve.” She gives a hard tug and Barry squeaks.

“Okay, okay! It was just a perk! Not important! Not part of the deal!” he protests.

“That’s right. You can fuck me. You can’t fuck Steve,” she says slowly, waiting for him to nod before letting go. She is both pleased and disgusted to note that he’s rock hard.

He curls up a little, looking hurt, and says petulantly, “I wouldn’t really hurt him.”

“You won’t talk to him at all. Clear?” she says sternly.

He nods obediently.

“So…” she says. She reaches for him and he recoils a little, but she is able to grab hold of his cock and begins to gently masturbate him while she talks. “How far is all this going to go?” she asks, touching one of her horns with her free hand.

“All the way, baby,” he replies while grinning, his suave confidence starting to return as his libido is stoked. “It’s all part of the package. If you like, I can teach you a few tricks so you can look like the old you when you need to.”

She nods thoughtfully. “Next lesson, then,” she says. “What say we make those a little more frequent?” She punctuates her request by lowering her head and taking just the tip of his cock into her mouth, continuing to stroke the shaft with one hand and playing with his balls with the other.

He groans and his head falls back onto the pillow, his yellow eyes closing. “How… often?” he asks between moans.

She takes his cock out of her mouth long enough to take a breath and reply, “Weekly.” When she takes him back into her mouth, she lets go with her hand and takes him as deeply into her throat as he can manage with the angle. His body shudders and he tosses his head until she pulls back.

“Fine. Yes,” he says, quickly when she takes him out of her mouth again.

“Starting tonight,” she interjects.

He glares at her, then says tersely, “Yes. Alright,” and gestures back down at his cock.

She smiles demurely and then returns to sucking him off.

When he’s done, she curls up next to him on the bed, feeling self-satisfied but still horny as hell. He spends a few moments catching his breath and regaining his composure before turnings to her and says, “Lesson two. Devil’s Glamour.”


	4. The Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lisa decides that they will be adventurers! (I mean, really, is this any surprise?)

Lisa sits on her window still and stares out over the city. It is much more impressive from up here than it was from the street level. She can see the sprawl of it, the tops of the more magnificent pieces of architecture, and is able to take in better the sheer energy of so many people in a small space, buzzing with activity like a bee hive. She swings one leg out the window, straddling the sill to let her lean back against the frame, but the press of the wood between her legs just reminds her how horny she is. Despite its power as leverage, she really wishes she’d fucked Barry rather than sucking him off.

“I need cock,” she says wistfully.

“Can I come in?” comes Bubba’s voice from above her a few heartbeats later. She leans out a little and peers up to see him perched on the edge of the roof like a gargoyle.

“Shit. Did I _summon_ you?” she asks incredulously.

“I don’t think so,” he replies after a moment of hesitation, as if considering the prospect.

After nearly losing her balance and falling three floors to the cobblestones, Lisa moves to re-enter her room, saying, “Yeah, come in.” She watches Bubba drop from the eaves, dangle for a moment, then swing into the window and land, cat-like on the floor. She whistles in appreciation and claps.

“Um, thanks,” he says, looking embarrassed, and surveys his surroundings. He finally looks at her and comments, “Nice dress.”

She grins. “Oh, this old thing,” she says, than snaps her fingers and dismisses the glamour, leaving her naked. “Shhh,” she whispers dramatically, “Don’t tell Steve.”

He frowns and says, “I thought that was a faerie trick?”

“Yeah,” she admits, “I’m finding there is a fair amount of crossover.”

He looks awkward, then comments, “You should probably get some real clothes, though, the weather is a bit chilly --”

While he’s babbling, she steps forward until she’s almost touching him, looks into his eyes, and says, “Bubba. Would you like to fuck me?”

He clears his throat and replies, “Is that a trick question?”

“Then why don’t you ask?” she response, running a finger through the hair on his chest where it is visible through the top of his jerkin.

He shudders but answers quietly, “We barely know each other. Despite… you know…” and he trails off, lost for a moment in her eyes.

She smiles at him, steps back a bit and says, “Hi, my name is Lisa. I am attracted to you. Would you please put your cock inside me and pump it until I pass out?” She smiles sweetly.

He clears his throat again, then comments, “You were doing so well --”

“I know,” she says, moving forward and starting to unlace the front of his shirt, “I got impatient.”

“Are you sure…” he asks, “It isn’t just that I’m here and you are all…” and he looks at a loss for words.

She gives him a stern look and says, “Bubba, downstairs there are probably a hundred men that would jump at the chance to fuck me. Hell, if I set up on the table, they all could, one at time…” and then she gets a dreamy look and murmurs, “Actually…” but Bubba interrupts her with a kiss. She giggles a bit but lets herself melt into it, but does not stop undoing the various straps, ties, and brooches holding his outfit together. She thinks to herself, How many pouches does a man need?

She feels his hands on her buttocks and then he lifts her. She wraps her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. His mouth moves from hers to her neck and she shivers at the feeling of sharp teeth and tusks just past his soft lips. She sighs and whispers encouragingly, “Yes.” Despite her protests, she isn’t sure if it isn’t just her lust talking, and she feels a little guilty about that. But right now, right here, she’s delighted at the rangers strong arms, broad chest, and decidedly (and just shy of unpleasant) male musk.

Instead of taking her to the bed, he deposits her ass on the window sill, then roughly undoes his belt and jerks his pants down. There is a animalistic intensity in his gaze which she imagined he had the last time they coupled, but she was in no position to see it then. It thrills her now. She lets her hands wander up to his roughly cut, coarse hair and makes fists in it, pulling hard so his head is forced back a little, and then leans in to kiss and bite at his throat. This evokes a growl in him that almost alarms her, but she doesn’t have time to think on it before his hands return to her hips and he brutally thrusts into her.

Her breath is taken away at his savagery. There is no build up, no pacing. He immediately pounds into her like a carpenter driving in a nail. Hard and fast, with an insistent rhythm. It is actually what she wanted and she almost swoons before remembering that her ass is hanging out the window, prompting her to grab the window frame tightly, just in case his enthusiasm overreaches his grip. The cool night breeze on her back, though, and the near certainty that she’s being watched thrills her. She wonders briefly when she became such an exhibitionist before thoughts dissolve in ecstasy.

She comes hard before he does and then rides her orgasm to another as she feels him begin to pulse inside of her. He roars in her ear when he does and she’s almost startled off her seat, but his rough hands keep a firm hold on her, pulling her back against him, holding them together until he’s finished. Then they are both still for a long few minutes, caught in a post-coital tableau. Someone shouts something from the alley, but she doesn’t catch what is said. 

Finally, he moves, stepping back and giving her a brief glance at his face again, his expression indicating to her that he isn’t finished. He lifts her up and turns her around so her upper body is out the window, breasts just past the sill and hanging out in the breeze. There is a whistle below and she makes a rude gesture as she stammers, uncertainty, “Oh. Okay…” and then, “Uh, wait, I’m not sure…” when she feels the head of his cock press between her buttocks.

“Oh gods,” she groans as he pushes into her ass. She shuts her eyes tightly and tries to relax, their combined fluids are helping but it is still a bit rough. She’s done this a few times but always when she was more firmly in control. It occurs to her, though, that she could almost certainly stop him, one way or another, but she doesn’t even want to ask him to stop, or even slow down. The rawness of it feeds some need that’s been gnawing at her and she delights in the debauchery and the pain. She wonders if Steve was right.

Once he’s managed to get himself all the way in, he pulls out slowly. His pace is much more measured and considerate, for which she’s thankful, but at the same time she feel possessed. Used. It is thrilling because it scares her. The next stroke is faster, but a bit easier. She opens her eyes and looks out over the city. It is fully dark now, so it is a sea of lights and shadows, still buzzing with human activity. She imagines herself in the sky with the stars, losing herself to the moment. It takes him some time to come this time and she’s delirious when she finally feels it. Bubba doesn’t pause as she’s immediately dragged back into the room and taken to the bed.

He drops her onto the scratchy mattress and then removes the rest of his clothes. Seeing him naked for the first time she’s shocked at how normal he is, despite the weird gray skin tone. She isn’t sure what she expected. By the time he climbs on top of her, she’s recovered from her weird submissive headspace and puts a hand on his chest.

“Hold up,” she commands, “What are you doing?”

“Giving you what you want,” he growls and kisses her, then adds, “And taking what I want.”

She doesn’t have time to comment before he pushes into her cunt again. She would really like to tell him to stop, just for appearances. She doesn’t want him to think he can just take liberties, after all. But, truth be told, this is exactly what she wants. What she’s been craving since that long crazy ride on the stag. She’d can’t complain about how indefatigable he was but instead she is revelling in it. Instead, she grins up at him and says, “Okay, fucker. Bring it on. Let’s see who passes out first.”

Sadly, it turns out to be Bubba.

The next morning, she is standing by the bed chewing her lip when there is a knock at the door.

“Come in,” she says.

Steve enters the room and blinks against the almost physical assault of sex reek. “Holy shit,” he says and then joins her by the bed, peering down at the unconscious half-orc.

“I think I killed him,” she says sadly, chewing on her knuckles.

Steve hands her a bundle of clothes he’s carrying and then kneels by the bed. He puts his hand on Bubba’s chest and closes his eyes. There is a brief green glow and the ranger takes a sudden deep breath.

“Very nearly,” Steve agrees, standing back up. He gestures to the bundle and says, “I got thee clothes. Get dressed so we can eat.”

Bubba’s eyes flutter open and he mutters, “Am I dead?”

“Almost,” says Steve, as he starts handing the half-orc items of clothing from the pile by the bed. “Food should help.” Then he gives Lisa a pointed look and says, “That’s what I was talking about,” gesturing to Bubba.

Lisa swallows hard and says, “Did I drain his life force?”

“What?” Steve says, then laughs, “No. He was just dehydrated.” He points out her semen-crusted thighs and the still wet spot taking up most of the bed and says, “I think thou canst figure out why.” Chuckling, he removes himself to the hall, with Lisa making rude gestures at his back.

Pulling on his trousers, Bubba says, “Do you want to get married?”

Lisa spins around. “What? No!” she exclaims.

“Why not?” he asks, seeming genuinely surprised.

She explains, “Because marriage is ownership and nobody owns me. I like you Bubba. The sex was great. We can be the best of friends, but I’m never going to sell myself to you.” Then she struggles to pull on the dress Steve brought, the laces of the bodice getting caught on her horns. She notes, with irritation, that they seem bigger.

Bubba steps over and, looking thoughtful, helps her into her clothes, lacing up her bodice for her before doing up his jerkin. Finally, he says, “I understand.”

“You do?” she replies skeptically.

“Sure,” he says, “I live in the woods. I’ve never bowed to any man’s laws or needed another to tell me what I own or what I can take. We need to live free. I get that.”

“Damn right,” she says with a big grin. She puts her arms around his neck and kisses him, whispering coyly, “You forgive me for almost killing you with my demon cunt.”

“Sure,” he says.

When they get downstairs, Steve has procured them the most out-of-the-way, inconspicuous, private booth in the establishment. There is already a rasher of bacon, a piece of bread fried in butter, and a mug of small ale waiting for each of them. They eat in relative silence until a man in a leather apron approaches the table with modest coin purse in one hand and a wide-brimmed leather hat in the other. Without prompting, he says, “My daughter has been stolen away by the thieves’ guild. I will pay you a hundred coins to bring her home,” and deposits the purse on the table.

The three of them look at for a moment and then Lisa gets an inspired grin and says, “Oh! You think we’re adventurers!”

The man looks suddenly unsure and replies, “Well, aren’t you?”

“Sure,” she says, with a shrug, and stuffs her last piece of bacon in her mouth so can reach over and grab the pouch.

He looks uncertain, but stammers, “I’m Lloyd the blacksmith. My shop is on Iron Street, between the foundry and the locksmith.”

Lisa grins at him and says, “We will see your dear sweet kin recovered or my name isn’t Lisa…” she pauses to chew on a bite of toast thoughtful, then adds, “The Harlot Witch!”

Steve says disbelievingly, “Really?”

Bubba shakes the man’s hand and says, “Bubba. And that’s Sir Steve.”

While the blacksmith seems a bit relieved at the titled knight, he still walks away looking somewhat lacking in confidence.

“So we’re adventurers now?” Steve asks pointedly.

“Sure, why not?” Lisa replies, “Beats prostitution. Besides, big city, more competition. I don’t think I’m up for being compared to a thousand other professional fellatrices.”

“I think you’re great,” offers Bubba and Lisa gives him an appreciative smile.

“Look, I already did my internship. I’m done with traipsing through underground tunnels and rescuing maidens. I got my dragon skull, I’m done with all that,” Steve protests.

She blinks and says, “You have a dragon skull? I’ve never seen it!”

Steve waves a hand dismissively and says, “I sent it to my mother, it’s at the family estate.”

She blinks again and says, “You have a family estate?”

The paladin sighs. “It may surprise thee to know,” he explains, “That having lived over a century, I have a fair amount of life I haven’t gotten around to telling thee.”

“Indeed,” she says, narrowing her eyes at him. She stands and says, “Alright, let’s pay the man and start asking around about this thieves’ guild.” Then she pauses and indelicately scratches her crotch. “Or, I could have a bath. And then find the girl!”

The waitress says, “There’s a bath house just down the street, love,” and then leans in and whispers in Lisa’s ear, “I came by last night but it sounded like you already had company.”

Lisa is a bit taken aback and doesn’t respond before she slips away with a wink. She looks at the others and says, “I didn’t kiss her. I swear.”

Steve sniffs and says, “Yes, go with the bath first.” Bubba shrugs. Steve leans over, sniffs him, and says, “Thou, too.” Both of them look simultaneously self-conscious and annoyed.

“Fine,” she says, “Let’s go, Bubba.”

The bath house proves to be one of those impressive structures Lisa was admiring the previous night from her bird’s-eye view. They enter from one of several entrances and find themselves in a huge space filled with people. Lisa can feel Bubba’s tension and, indeed, he gets a lot of unfriendly looks as they make their way to the closest of the spacious pools.

“Can you help me again?” she asks Bubba, indicating her dress and hoping to distract him. He nods absently, unlaces her bodice and pulls it off over her head. He’s a bit startled, though, when she starts to undo his clothes. “What?” she asks, “You can’t wear your clothes in the bath.” She sniffs him and says, “Though, they could use the cleaning.”

A passing attendant says, “For a penny, we can clean your clothes while you bathe,” then blinks when he realizes that Bubba is a half-orc.

“There is nothing unusual about my friend,” Lisa says.

“Oh. Okay,” the attendant replies and gives a friendly smile. Lisa hands him an armful of ranger garb and a coin. He turns the coin this way and that and says, “Is this dwarven?”

Lisa shrugs, “Adventurers. What can you do, eh?” She takes Bubba’s hand and drags him into the steaming hot water. “Oh gods,” she moans. Her experience of baths has always been oversized wash tubs filled with water that is barely lukewarm by the time she’s done filling it with pots of water heated on the hearth. This water, however, is perfect.

Bubba even nods appreciatively. “It’s nice. Like a hot spring,” he admits. Several people move further away from him and he tries to ignore it.

Lisa ignores them and focuses on Bubba. “Weird, isn’t it? All these people,” she says, trying to hold his attention. She puts her hands on his shoulders and gently pushes him so only his head is above the water. She runs her fingers through his hair, trying to coax the knots out, while she keeps eye contact.

“Yes,” he whispers through gritted teeth, “I don’t like it.”

“Close your eyes,” she says and he complies. She moves around behind him and begins to knead his shoulders, leaning in to whispers, “You are alright. Don’t think about it. It’s just you and me, okay?”

Slowly, she feels a little of the tension give way to her ministrations. She gives the stink-eye to anyone who seems likely to comment or get too close and realizes just how possessive she feels towards the ranger. She finds it a bit ironic given last night, but reflects there her submission was actually an admission of how much she trusts him. Her arms snake around him to pull him against her and she whispers in his ear, “I’m going to clean up a bit. Are you going to be alright?”

He nods and she lets go, dunking her head under the water to wet her hair and then doing her best to clean up, availing herself of a cloth after paying another attendant a coin. While pulling her crumpled dress back over her purse to hide it from view, she notes a gnome nonchalantly cleaning his nails take note of its presence. She keeps him in the corner of her eye while she cleans herself. When she turns to clean Bubba, she intentionally turns her back on her stuff. Counting in her head to give him time to move into position, she looks back over her shoulder and says, “I’m a member of the guild.”

The gnome, caught mid-rummage, freezes. “Oh,” he says, “Sorry, I didn’t recognize you.”

She turns to face him. Behind her, she feels Bubba’s glare. She says, “Give me a minute to get dressed. We can get to know each other on the way back to the guildhouse,” and gives him a seductive wink. He grins at her in an entirely unpleasant way before she turns to face Bubba. She leans in close to whispers, “Just follow my lead.”

“I have no clothes,” he observes tersely.

She frowns. “Oh. Hmm,” and looks around. She spots a fellow of roughly the same build as Bubba trying to woo some disinterested looking ladies nearby and says to the gnome, “Could you grab my friend’s clothes?” gesturing to the other man’s pile. Looking put upon but obviously thinking it will win him points with her towards an imagined booty call, he goes and retrieves them with a cutpurse’s natural subtlety. 

She and Bubba get dressed quickly and she is pleased to note that the other man’s fashion sense borders on pirate. When they are done, Bubba stands before her clad in a billowy blouse that opens to his navel, tight leather pants just a little too small, and high leather boots. Worry about the theft being acknowledged, she is unable to take the time to properly appreciate it, instead gesturing to the gnome that they are ready.

“So, what do you do?” the little lech queries with a hand on her ass.

“I’m bait,” she says with a forced smile, “I lure them in and my friend here takes the goods.” Bubba grunts in confirmation, glowering down at him.

He nods and says, “Nice.” 

His hand starts wandering between her legs, so she puts a hand on the top of his head and steers him to the front. “Later,” she says. The implied confirmation of his desires pleases him and he backs off. He leads them into a warren of back alleys and Lisa hopes that Bubba is able to follow this twists and turns because she’s utterly lost. Finally, they stand around a large metal door set into the cobblestones.

The gnome says, “Could your friend get this? I always have a hard time with it.”

“Sure,” Lisa says and nods to Bubba, who wrenches the heavy iron door open, releasing a flood of laughs and ale-stink. The gnome descends and they follow, Bubba pulling the portal closed behind them with a resounding thud.

At the bottom of the stairs is a single large room with an arched room. Lisa reflects that it is probably an old wine cellar and, in fact, the peripheries of it are packed with crates, barrels, boxes, and piled sacks. Some of these have been assembled into makeshift tables and benches with the use of warped wooden boards. Several dozen nefarious individuals of both genders and a variety of races sit around drinking, gambling, and arguing. Everyone seems vaguely uncomfortable, though, as two men are having vigorous sex with a girl in the center of the room. The gnome notes her attention and says, “Yeah, the Daves and their new girlfriend have been non-stop since she moved in with them.”

Lisa sighs and ventures a guess, “The blacksmith’s daughter?”

He affirms, “That’s the one.”

Bubba whispers, “It doesn’t mean she’s not being held against her will --”

The young woman bent over the crate removes the cock from her mouth and shouts back over her shoulder, “Harder, you skinny prick!” at the man rogering her from behind. He redoubles his efforts and she enthusiastically returns to her fellatio. Lisa just slowly shakes her head while Bubba rubs the bridge of his nose.

During the course of this exchange, the room has quieted and Lisa notes that they have the room’s attention and there is a lot of whispered conversation and gestures at them. She clears her throat and says, loudly enough to be heard at the far end, “You know us.”

Collectively, everyone present says, “Oh!” and returns to what they were doing. The gnome slaps her ass and goes to greet some friends at the nearest table while Lisa stands there, considering their options.

Bubba says quietly, “We could return the money?”

Lisa waves him off, saying, “Nonsense. We can’t admit failure on our first adventure.”

“This isn’t an adventure,” he replies, “Killing a dragon or exploring a tomb is an adventure. Also, you can’t make her go home.”

She sighs and nods, “Yeah. Shit.” She watches their quarry loudly orgasm while the card-players at the nearest table try hard to ignore her and says, “Are you getting turned on?”

He clears his throat a bit but doesn’t answer, so she confirms her suspicions by firmly grabbing his crotch. “Do you mind,” he objects.

“Not at all,” she replies, grinning at him. After a pause and a change of position for the lovers, she says, “Let’s get out of here.”

The gnome gets in front of her at the bottom of the stairs, blocking their passage, protesting, “Leaving so soon?”

“I already gave you a handjob, buddy, I have to get back to work now,” she says with feigned regret.

“Oh,” he replies, “Yeah, okay. Thanks. See you later.”

They step past him and leave the lair.

“Dragons and tombs, eh?” she repeats.

He says, “My mother had a lot of books. Quite a few adventurers’ journals among them.”

“I’m not sure about dragons but I think I can handle some dusty corpses. How do you land those kind of jobs?” she asks thoughtfully.

He shrugs, “Word of mouth, I think. You need a reputation. I don’t think it is going to help our to fail at our first excursion.”

She grins. “I have an idea. Follow me,” she says. At the first intersection, she looks left, then right, then at Bubba. “Do you know how to get out of here?” she asks hopefully.

He nods, grinning, and replies, “Follow me.”

When they emerge from the back alley maze and she gets her bearings, Lisa leads them to the market nearest to their inn. She climbs the fountain so she can see over the heads of the crowd and loudly whistles. When this doesn’t get a response, she cuts her hands around her mouth and shouts, “You should listen to me.” All sound in the square stops and suddenly a hundred people are looking at her expectantly. “Wow,” she murmurs, then clears her throat and says, “I am the Warlock Lisa. Me and my friends, Bubba the Pirate and Sir Steve --”

Steve’s head pops up from one of the stalls and exclaims, “Wait, what?”

“-- are renowned adventurers,” she continues, “Anyone who needs our services can find us at The Buggered Goat. Thank you. Um, as you were.” She climbs down and grins at Bubba.

“Pirate?” he asks.

She says, “It’s the clothes.”

He looks down at himself, as if seeing them for the first time, and sighs, “That’s fair, I guess. Do I have to keep dressing like this? The pants are too tight.”

“I like them,” she says, with a lecherous grin.

“What the hell?” Steve insists.

“The blacksmith’s daughter was a bust. It’s advertising,” she explains.

Steve frowns at her and exclaims, “Thine horns are gone!”

She smiles sweetly and sticks out her tongue, which appears normal, then says, “I told Barry to fuck off. For you.”

Steve states, “Liar.”

She looks surprised, “What?”

He says angrily, “I can see through thine glamour. I can’t believe thou wouldst lie to me like that.”

“I was trying to make you feel better!” she protests.

He pokes her in the chest and says, “Thou canst not lie to me.”

“I’m sorry,” she says contritely.

“Also,” he notes, “Thou just used thine lying devil tongue on this crowd of people.”

“Oh,” she says.

“Besides,” he explains, “I am not concerned with thine pact for my sake. My concern is for thine soul.”

“Okay,” she replies, contritely.

“Are you jokers done with your drama?” comes an impatient voice from the crowd, “Because I have a job for you.”


	5. A Real Adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lisa and her companions dispense with the penny ante shit.

“This is stupid,” grumbles Steve as he lays his hands on Bubba’s chest, the pectoral muscles reknitting under the green glow.

Lisa peers at the minotaur over the top of the large boulder they are currently hiding behind and ventures, “We are wearing him down?”

Bubba replies, through gritted teeth, “No, we aren’t.”

“No,” Lisa admits, “We aren’t.” She tries against to summon up more fire but there is just a brief whiff of brimstone and a trace of yellowish smoke. She’s tired. Also, she’s really, really horny. She peers back over the rock at the massive man-beast standing in front of the ironclad oak door. More precisely, she stares at his massive half-hard penis. She looks thoughtful for a minute, then mutters, “I have an idea,” and comes out from behind the rock, hands in the air.

“Wait!” call out Bubba and Steve almost simultaneously. The paladin comes out behind her, sword drawn, while Bubba tries painfully to get to his feet.

“Do you understand me?” Lisa asks the minotaur. It responds with a snort, and she continues, “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’. Say, how long has it been since someone attended to that?” She gestures at his cock.

“Thou hath to be kidding me,” she hears Steve exclaim behind her, but she keeps advancing. She can smell the singed fur from where her hellfire ineffectually struck the huge monstrosity.

The minotaur lowers its axe a little and snorts again, thrusting its hips out a little. It gets a bit harder.

“So, we need to get through the door and I can make it worth your while to let us pass,” she says, finally getting within arm’s length of her prey. She slowly reaches out a hand and runs her fingers gently down the length of the bull cock, which causes it to complete its journey to full erection. She takes a deep breath and blows it out, then looks up and asks, “Do we have a deal?”

The minotaur nods and lowers its axe to the ground, but gives a stern look at the elf standing behind her.

“I can’t fucking believe this,” he sighs, sheathing his sword and stomping off to attend to Bubba.

Lisa paces back and forth a bit, staring at the cock from every angle and chewing on her lip. Finally, she says, “Well, getting that thing in me isn’t really going to work, so we’re going to have to improvise.” She grabs it and starts walking towards the boulder, saying, “Come on, big guy. I got this.”

The bull-headed titan seems startled, but stumbles to keep up with her as she drags him to the rock by his cock and proceeds to lie back against it while undoing the top of her dress. Once her breasts are exposed, she places his penis between them, shifting a bit to get the angle right. The minotaur grunts in approval and begins thrusting its hips.

“Okay, careful…” she says, but quickly realizes the futility of that line and just scoots up a bit to give him more room without taking a cockhead to the throat. With her hands, she squeezes her tits together. While ultimate ridiculous and undeniably frightening, the sheer kinkiness of it it really, really turns her on. She wraps her legs around the beasts waist and rides him while he has his way with her. The thrusting motion in itself brings her off, so her eyes are squeezed shut as she shudders to orgasm when the beast roars and starts spraying her neck and face with bull jizz. “Holy shit,” she manages before a spurt hits her lips and gets in her mouth, prompting her to keep her mouth shut until he’s done.

She unhooks her legs and gives him a gentle shove and, to his credit, he backs up without protest. The now rapidly softening cock slides down her body, leaving a long trail of cum to her waist and brushing against her cunt before slippingfree. It nearly sets her off into a second orgasm and, as she props herself up on her elbows, she seriously re-considers intercourse.

“It would kill you,” a voice whispers from over the top of the boulder and she tilts her head back to see the upside-down visage of a disapproving holy warrior. She grins at him before a thick glob of cum drips down her cheek into her eye and she realizes her mistake.

“Shit, shit, shit!” she says, grabbing a clean part of her dress to try and clean out her reddening eye.

“Serves thee right,” he chides her and then addresses himself to the beast, “Are we done here?”

The minotaur gives them a thumbs up, recovers the ax it dropped in its throes, and steps aside to let them approach the door.

Lisa gets to her feet and then frowns. “Huh,” she ventures thoughtfully and snaps her fingers. A ball of fire appears instantly in her other hand. She says, “Ahhh, so that’s how it works.” She gives Bubba a lecherous grin as he emerges from behind the boulder and teases, “I may need help later to recharge my batteries.”

“What?” he replies, then winces against bruised ribs.

Steve walks up to him and says, “Her magic is fueled by lust,” before putting his hand on Bubba’s side. The half-orc’s posture instantly improves as the pain is banished by divine magic.

“You, too, grumpy head,” she asserts while grabbing at the paladin’s butt.

“Oath,” the paladin replies tersely as he easily dodges her sexual harrassment.

“You’re no fun anymore,” she pouts while walking up the door and trying to handle. “Shit,” she says, “It’s locked.” She turns to the minotaur and ventures hopefully, “Key?”

The minotaur shrugs and gestures to its body, drawing attention to the fact that it is naked.

Lisa squints at him and chides, “Don’t be a smart ass.” She snorts and adds, “I thought we had something special, you and I.”

The minotaur blinks but Bubba chuckles.

Lisa looks at the half-orc and asks, “I don’t suppose you can pick locks?”

Bubba frowns and replies, “What, because I’m a half-orc, I’m some kind of criminal?”

Lisa retorts, “No, you just read a lot. Seemed like the sort of weird thing you’d pull out of your ass.”

“Oh,” he says, embarrassed, “Sorry. No, no idea.”

While they’d been talking, Steve had approached the door, got down on one knee, and produces a thin dagger from his belt. They both suddenly notice him working at the lock.

“Seriously, Mr. Tightass Morality can pick locks?” she says.

“I wasn’t always a paladin,” he replies dryly. “Also,” he notes, “Over a century, one tends to pick things up.” There is a click. He resheaths his knife, stands, and opens the door. With a grand gesture, he bids them entry. His smug expression is short-lived when a ghoul grabs him by the arm and sinks its teeth into his shoulder. “For fuck’s sake!” he screams, stumbling back with the undead scavenger on top of him.

Lisa calls up another ball of fire but Bubba beats her to it, drawing his bow and putting two arrows into the thing’s head before she raises her hand to loose the orb. Steve throws the suddenly inert creature off of him and she lobs the fire onto the corpse, which quickly is consumed into ash. 

Bubba lends Steve a hand. Once he’s standing, he mutters, “Rookie mistake. Sorry.” He nods appreciatively at the ranger and says, “Good reflexes.”

“Thanks,” Bubba replies distractedly while firing several more arrows down the dark corridor beyond the door.

Lisa whines, “I wish I could see in the dark,” and petulantly throws an orb of fire down the hall, where it briefly illuminates another ghoul’s look of surprise before being consumed by brimstone-scented destruction.

Barry’s voice behind her says, “Granted!” Lisa suddenly finds herself able to see down the hallway to the shadowy tomb beyond. She also suddenly feels Barry’s hands on her boobs. He leans in to whisper, “You can thank me later,” and nibbles her earlobe. She nearly jumps out of her skin.

Steve scrambles for his sword but the shoulder wound makes him clumsy and he drops it while growling, “Get away from her!”

As she turns to confront him, Barry slaps her ass and disappears in a puff of brimstone.

Bubba says, “Um, Lisa?” 

“What?” she replies, distracted by Steve cursing in Elvish while healing his shoulder. She picks up the dropped sword and holds it out to him, but he just sighs deeply upon looking at her.

“Thine eyes,” he says.

She turns the sword so she can see her reflecting in the blade and is welcomed by cat-like pupils and yellow irises. “Hmm,” is all she says.

Steve gently removes his sword from her grasp and returns it to its scabbard, then looks at her meaningfully.

She just shrugs at him and grins, which infuriates him, but she’s skipping down the hall before he can manage a word. Bubba looks at him apologetically and follows.

“What are we looking for, again?” she asks as Steve finally catches up, after picking his way over the half dozen freshly re-slain corpses in the hall.

Bubba gets out the worn parchment map and squints at it for a moment, lips moving silently, then says, “A mirror, I think.” The three of them begin examining the walls, but find nothing behind the cobwebs and grime. 

Lisa stops for a moment and sits on the sarcophagus in the center of the room. She idly tilts her head back to itch at the dried cum on her neck, then says, “Guys,” and points up. A grimy mirror sits above the central sarcophagus, hidden from view by a slight recess so that it is only visible from directly below. “Now what?” she asks, looking at Bubba.

He looks at the map again and says, “It just says to open it with magic.”

Lisa gestures at it experimentally but all she gets is another waft of brimstone smoke. She looks at Steve, who shakes his head and says, “I’m tapped out. Besides, I doubt it would respond to my type of magic.”

She says, “Alright, big boy. You’re up,” while patting the spot next to her and gestures at it to Bubba.

He blinks. Steve looks nonplussed.

She sighs and says, “Sex, Bubba. I need sex. Titty-fucking the bull man didn’t really do much for me and I blew my load on the ghouls.”

“Um, right,” he stumbles out while putting away the map and then taking off his pack, quiver, and belt. He looks around and says, “Not really very… romantic.”

She gestures up and says, “Fucking under a mirror is sexy. I’ve always wanted to try it.”

“Vain whore,” Steve comments dryly.

“You know it, babe,” she replies and looks at him over her shoulder and winks. He tries not to smile.

Bubba carefully climbs on top of the stone coffin while muttering, “It just seems disrespectful.”

Steve gestures over his shoulder at the incredibly detailed bas relief of an armored warrior gleefully slaughtering a village of unarmed farmers while his army rapes their wives and daughters in the backgroud. He notes, sarcastically, “I doubt Hrothgar the Bloody would mind.”

Lisa lies down and spreads her legs, giving Bubba come-hither smile, all of which would be much sexier if she wasn’t lying on a stone carved with the visage of a scowling Viking and still coated in flakes of dried bull semen. Bubba looks down at her, sighs, and says, “Mother always hoped I’d meet a nice girl.”

Lisa says, “If you do, we can have a threesome,” with a brief glare at Steve. Then she grabs the front of his shirt and pulls him down, kissing him deeply. Despite his protestations, the important parts of him are not picky about the surroundings and a few grinds of her hips up against him bring them to attention. As he struggles to get loose of his pants, Lisa says, distractedly, “Get naked.”

Bubba pauses and asks, “Take off everything?”

She nods, staring up at the mirror. As he obliges, she shivers at the sight of his broad, hirsute back and muscular ass. Despite her joke, she hadn’t actually expected the mirror to figure into things but the sight of Bubba’s naked orcish physique looming over her really turns her on. She pulls frantically at the laces of her dress so she can pull it down to expose her chest while Bubba, now getting into the mood, hikes up the bottom. Once he’s in position, she still keeps peeking over his shoulder at the two of them, relishing her own expression as he enters her.

“She’s something else, isn’t she?” Barry asks Steve.

The paladin sighs and looks over at him, keeping his arms crossed instead of trying to draw his sword. “Why art thou doing this?” he asks.

“Honestly?” Barry says, “It was a fluke. I didn’t set this up, she just happened on the ritual.” He shrugs and goes back to ogling his charge.

“The gods are testing me,” Steve says, looking to the heavens.

“Maybe,” Barry replies, distractedly, then turns and looks at Steve and says, “Masculinity suits you.”

Steve smirks and lowers his eyes back to the devil. “I wanted to see what the appeal was,” he offers.

“Oh yeah! Fuck! Fuck me! Harder!” Lisa screams from the sarcophagus. Her legs are wrapped around the ranger’s waist and her hands are clawing at his back. He just growls in response and picks up the pace, slamming harder into her. She throws back her head and howls, “YES!”

Barry sidles up to Steve when he turns to look at the couple and whispers, “So, have you?”

Steve starts and takes a step back. “Have I what?” he demands.

“Found the appeal,” the devil insinuates, gesturing at Lisa and Bubba. “Remember, humans don’t live very long, if you wait around, she’ll be dead.”

Steve grits his teeth and glares, but Barry just grins, shrugs, and disappears.

A grinding noise distracts him from his irritation. He looks over to see a rain of dust descending upon the lovers as the mirror opens. There is a faint whiff of sulfur and Steve realizes that it isn’t Barry that caused it. All of the ancient candles in the room are now lit with blue flame.

“Whew,” Lisa says, “Just what I needed. Now get off me, you big hunk of man-meat.”

Bubba looks vaguely hurt and slides off to get dressed. Lisa fixes her dress quickly and then stands up to look into the opening. She says, her voice echoing, “There’s a ladder!”

The ranger replies, “That must lead to the real tomb,” and fastens his belt. 

He is slightly startled when Steve moves up behind him and says, “Let’s get moving,” in a somewhat more feminine voice. Matching her voice are breasts, wider hips, and slightly softer features. 

“Hey, you’re a girl,” Bubba stammers and Steve narrows her eyes at him.

Lisa dips her head so she can see into the room again and frowns at Steve for a moment before grinning and shouting, “You’re back!”

“I never... “ Steve begins, then just sighs and says, “Drop it,” with a sidelong glance at Bubba. She nimbly hops up onto the sarcophagus, grabs the bottom rung of the ladder, and heaves herself up and out of sight like it was no effort at all. Bubba watches her go, enraptured.

He moves up so he can watch her ascend. Lisa crouches down and follows his glance, then looks at him questioningly.

Bubba says, slowly, “I think I want to fuck Steve.”

Lisa’s face splits into a wide grin and she says, “We have got to make that happen.” She pats him on the shoulder and then follows Steve up the shaft, with considerably less grace and much more cursing.

A few minutes later, they are all standing in an exact replica of the lower tomb, only cleaner and more stagnant. Steve and Lisa look at Bubba, who is peering at the map. He says, “There’s a riddle.” 

Lisa sighs. Steve just looks around. She walks over to one of the bas relief panels, draws her sword, and uses it to pop the stone facing off. Behind it is an impressive looking axe stained with blood and decorated with a few score dessicated ears on tassels. She looks at the other two and says, “I’ve done this before.” She knocks the axe out of the alcove with her sword. The scything blades that pop out just ping harmlessly off of it and an array of darts fire past Steve into the side of the sarcophagus. Bubba puts the map under his arm to clap.

“Kind of takes all the fun out of it,” Lisa complains.

“Fine,” Steve replies, tucking the axe under her arm, “You can take care of the wight all by yourself then.”

“The what now?” says a confused Lisa as the sarcophagus behind her opens and a dessicated grey arm grabs Bubba by the throat and lifts him off the ground.

“HROTHGAR THE BLOODY WILL CHOKE THE LIFE FROM YOU AND RAPE YOUR WOMEN WHILE YOUR BODY COOLS,” bellows the energetic corpse that sits up, pushing the lid to the ground. 

Lisa takes a step back and snaps her fingers. Smoke begins to rise from former warlord’s partially mummified yet erect member. The Wight makes an extremely undignified sound and drops Bubba, curling into a ballas blue flames start to flicker out from under its decayed rags. Hrothgar The Bloody bats ineffectively at its crotch, squealing and weeping.

“Nicely done,” says Steve.

Lisa watches, enraptured, and says, “It’s even better than I imagined.”

Bubba gets up off the floor, climbs up on the sarcophagus,and plants his foot firmly on the creature’s throat. The two women watch as he fires about half a dozen arrows into the warrior-king’s face until he stops squirming. 

The ranger hops down and joins them by the ladder. “Thanks,” he says to Lisa and offering asquinting glare to Steve before stepping off into the dark hole, eschewing the ladder. They barely hear him land below.

“He’s kind of sexy when he does that,” notes Steve.

“That’s my girl!” Lisa exclaims with a broad grin. She gropes the paladin’s ass and then scrambles down the ladder before she can protest, nearly falling twice in the process.

A short time later, they are standing in the posh parlour of the nobleman who hired them. He leans back in his chair and asks in disbelief, “What do you mean it isn’t magical?”

His house wizard shrugs and says, “I’m sorry, sire. While vile and definitely authentic, it is not enchanted.”

“Well, I’m not paying for this!” the noble exclaims, standing up from his chair glaring in outrage at the ratty adventuring trio before him.

“Yes, you are,” says Lisa, tiredly. Steve doesn’t even protest.

“Oh,” the noble says, pausing in his exclamation, “Yes, I am. Seneschal, draw the payment for these people.”

The seneschal looks skeptical until Bubba glares at him and cracks his knuckles.

A few minutes later, they are out on the street.

“So, let’s celebrate!” Lisa says after a ninety second yawn.

“Sleep?” Bubba asks, plaintively.

“Alright, sleep first. Then a party!”

“I don’t sleep, so I’ll keep the money,” Steve offers.

Lisa eyes him with a wry smile and asks, “How do we know we can trust you?”

Steve gives her a weary look. “Paladin.”

“That’s your excuse for everything,” she says and pouts dramatically. Steve takes hold of her chin, leans in, and kisses her hard. Lisa blinks in surprise, then melts into it. Bubba shuffles uncomfortably until they disengage. 

The paladin stares into the warlock’s eyes and says softly, “That always shut thee up.” Then she pats her cheek and turns, walking down the street towards the inn.

Bubba frowns and asks, “Were the two of you an item?”

Lisa whimpers, “Uh huh,” and just stares after her.

“What happened?” Bubba asks carefully.

“I don’t know,” Lisa replies unhappily. “Come on, let’s go get some rest so I can waste some of that money on stupid shit.”

Once she’s in her room, she strips out of the filthy clothes from her adventure and burns them with a snap of her fingers. Then she cleans up as best she can in the wash basin. She’s scrubbing her crotch when Barry’s voice comes from the bed, “Don’t bother. We have unfinished business.”

Lisa bends down a little further and, looking between her legs at the devil, shakes her ass at him. He makes a soft growling sound and pats the bed beside him. She smiles. As she walks over to the bed, she asks, “So, what’s the deal with sex for magic?”

Barry shrugs, “Simple. You draw your power from lust. The more you indulge, the more power you have. When I start teaching you the really cool spells, you are going to need to step things up a bit. None of this sex once or twice a day like a normal person. You’ll need orgies to generate the sort of power you’ll need.”

She stops in front of him and places one foot between his legs, kneading his balls with her toes. “So,” she muses, “If I had a big party and invited everyone to fuck me, my magic would be more powerful?”

He groans and nods. Licking his lips, he says, “More powerful and more elaborate spells.”

“Teach me one of the good ones and you can have my ass tonight,” she teases, removing her foot and turning so he can see her freshly washed buttocks. She bends down so they stick out, just an inch from his face. He licks the crevice with his long, forked tongue, making her shiver. 

He says, “Deal. But I get mine first.”

She takes a few moments, looking like she’s considering it, then says, “Fiiiine.” 

She pushes past him and lies face down on the bed, turning her head and closing her eyes. She had forgotten how tired she was. Her body immediately relaxes as she slips into a fuzzy half-sleep state. Again, she feels his tongue between her cheeks, this time probing, flicking at her asshole. She makes a happy sound, but stays still. His tongue pushes in a little, then out again. In and out, teasing her. She just enjoys it sleepily.

Time loses all meaning as she slips in and out of sleep, so she has no idea how long he plays with her ass before mounting her. There’s a little discomfort but mostly just a pleasant fullness. His cockfeels so big that in her near dream state, she imagines him impaling her completely until the head pokes out of her throat. He takes his time, and it makes the timelessness of it seem even more pronounced. At some point, she realizes that she had started to rub herself, and eventually he orgasms, but it is mellow and unsatisfying. When he’s done, she feels his burning load seeping through her body, creeping into her limbs and adding to her lassitude.

At some point, she realizes she’s asleep, but he’s still there, in her dreams

“So,” he says, “Something good? How about Vampiric Kiss?”


	6. Faerie Orgy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I mean, the title says it all, folks.

Lisa wakes to soft lips and the gentle press of breasts against her own. Eyes closed, she returns the kiss. Unrushed, savoring it, arms slipping around her lover to pull her closer. She knew Steve wouldn’t be able to stay away. She felt fingertips brush up her back, tracing the line of her spine, and shivers in response. The lips leave hers to trace a line down her neck, starting just below her earlobe. The drowsy warlock revels in the attention, her hands moving up to bury themselves in soft hair, eliciting a sound like a purr. Lips continue down over her collarbone to find her breasts, brief kisses and licks on the way to her nipples, which harden in anticipation. Lisa moans and arches her back, pressing her chest against them.

She’s suddenly struck by how much she’s missed this and is ravenous for it. Lisa buries her hands in her hair and gently but insistently directs her head lower. There is a soft chuckle but no resistance. Rough feminine hands slide down her body to her thighs and spread them. Her head falls back with a satisfied sigh as the lips reach her moist cleft. She relaxes and loses herself to it, allowing herself to writhe and moan under the expert ministrations. Deep sounds of desire echoes hers as her passion increases and Lisa delights at each brush of a breasts against the inside of her leg, at the soft hair falling over her thighs, at the fingers holding her open, probing her, making a path for expert tongue and lips.

Lisa is certain that they orgasm at the same time. As she begins to drift back to sleep, exhausted and sated, she feels arms encircle her and hot skin press against her. Lips lay soft kisses on her jaw and then she’s taken by sleep. Her dreams are filled with rich feminine smells of arousal, indistinct bodies, and lustful groaning. Waking again is a splash of cold water -- an unwanted and stark intrusion of reality. Light and cold force her into consciousness and it is only when opening her eyes with bright illumination that she realizes that it isn’t Steve sharing her bed, but the waitress. She blinks the sleep from her eyes and, though there is a moment of disappointment, it is the vague sense of loss after a dream, when what you lost is only half-remembered and not at all real.

The waitress opens her eyes and smiles. “Hello, gorgeous,” she says and runs her fingers through Lisa’s hair. Rational thought proves elusive as the newly forged adventurer rolls her eyes up into her head and groans in pleasure. Her companion continues, “While I’d love for us to take our time this morning, I’m afraid I have work to do. I’m already late.” Lisa pouts at her as she disentangles herself and dresses in clothes neatly laid out on the table, then gets up and stretches lasciviously. The waitress just grins while lacing up her corset and says, “Nice try, love.”

Lisa is disgruntled and says, “It works on guys.”

“Men are weak-willed,” the waitress comments, stopping only to kiss her briefly on the lips and caress the side of her face before disappearing into the hall.

“Poop,” Lisa says and flops back onto the bed.

“Good morning,” says a familiar voice as the door opens a minute later. “I presumed thou wouldst be inclined to incinerated thine clothes from yesterday, so I took the liberty of using some of our funds to procure replacements.”

Without looking up, Lisa says, “Fuck me.”

There is a pregnant pause, followed by a, “No,” which sounds more like a question than a declaration.

Lisa sits up and glares at the elf. “Why not?” she demands.

Steve sighs, putting the clothes next to her on the bed, and says, “We’ve been through all this.”

She punches the paladin in the shoulder and starts getting dressed in silence.

Steve looks awkward and then leaves the room with an apologetic, “I’ll get us a table before the rush.”

Bubba peaks in just as she’s finishing up.

“So,” she asks, standing and moving towards the door, “Ready to have an orgy?”

Bubba blinks. “Orgy?” he asks.

“I meant party,” she replies innocently and gives him a peck on the cheek as she pushes past him into the hall.

When they get downstairs, a number of the male patrons are assessing the elf paladin with new eyes while she studiously ignores them while appearing to meditate. As usual, food is waiting for them when they get to the table. Lisa assesses the room while she nurses a sausage in a manner which makes Bubba squirm. Steve opens her eyes and frowns, watching her for a moment before asking, “What art thou doing?”

“Eating breakfast,” she says with a smile and takes a bite of the sausage. Bubba winces and starts to eat, keeping his head down.

Steve smirks and whispers, “No, thou seemst to be casing the room.”

“Oh,” Lisa reples, “No, I’m trying to figure out if it is big enough for our party.”

The paladin looks pained but says, “Ah, the party,” and then notices Bubba’s skeptical glance at Lisa and asks, “What sort of party?”

“The kind where I fuck every guy in attendance,” she says with a sweet smile.

Steve chokes on her drink and Bubba goes back to staring at his plate.

“What?” Lisa says, “It’s how the magic works. More sex, bigger magic. Bigger bang, you might say.” She looks entirely too pleased with herself but before Steve can comment, a large man who seems to still be working off the previous night’s drunk wanders up and slurs, “Hey, ladies. Why don’t you ditch this animal and let me show you what a real man is like?” Lisa snaps her fingers, which elicits a yelp and a whiff of smoke from his loosely fitted pants.

“Hey!” Bubba yells as the man grabs his drink and empties it into his pants. The half-orc stands up but the man is already stumbling backwards, falling on his ass and then crab-walking away as fast as he can. Rather than pursue him, Bubba just watches him go with a sort of fascination, then orders another drink and sits back down. “What, I’m not good enough anymore?” he growls at Lisa.

“To be fair, I almost killed you the last time we had a marathon,” she observes and he looks disgruntled.

“Thou… canst not just… offer thyself to a room full of strange men!” Steve finally manages.

She shrugs and says, “If you know a more efficient way, I’d like to hear it.”

Bubba asks, “Aren’t you worried about getting pregnant?”

“Oh, now you’re worried about that, eh?” she says, smirking at him. The ranger blushes and just manages a shrug. “No worries,” she answers, “Steve here taught me how to mix herbs to keep from getting knocked up as soon as I was old enough to try.”

Bubba looks at Steve, who notes dryly, “Any opportunity to cut down on the number of humans in the world.” Faced with the expressions of her tablemates, she protests, “You people breed like rabbits! It’s unnatural!”

“Anyway, you aren’t in any position to protest,” Lisa says sharply to the elf.

“I’m your moral guardian --” Steve begins.

“Bullshit,” she interjects, slamming her fist on the table “I didn’t ask for your judgments!”

“This isn’t prudishness!” the paladin asserts. “You’ve made a pact with an objective force of evil and it is warping you into a creature of darkness!”

Bubba mutters, “She isn’t wrong.”

“Who?” both of them reply, nearly simultaneously.

“What? Oh, right. Still getting used to both of you being women,” he says. He sighs deeply and says to Steve, “Lisa is pissed off because you broke off the relationship and feels like you’ve forfeited the right to have an opinion on how she comports herself.” He turns to Lisa and says, “Steve is absolutely correct, you’ve sold your soul to a devil. He’s… sorry, she’s not just making excuses to boss you around. You are proposing a massive gangbang with whatever filthy bugger wanders through that door tonight in order to fuel your infernal powers.”

Steve sighs and says, “I’m sorry. I mean, I’m not sorry I’m trying to save you, but I’m sorry… for the rest of it.”

Lisa replies, “Fuck you. Don’t be sorry, just stop being a stubborn prick!”

A guy at the next table pipes up, “Did I hear gangbang?” and his drink catches fire. “Shit!” he exclaims and falls off his chair while panicking.

A few moments later, the bartender is at the table saying, “I’m going to have to ask you to stop setting the patrons on fire.”

Lisa looks surly but Bubba replies, “Of course. Our apologies,” and passes him a few gold coins, which seem to satisfy him.

“You know how much money that was?” Steve asks, gently.

“Not really. I’ve always relied on barter. We’re on the gold standard, right?” he replies, hopefully.

“Silver,” Steve says.

“Hrm.”

Lisa reaches across the table to poke Steve in the chest. “We were having a conversation!” she complains.

Steve looks tired and says, “I apologized. It is all I can do. You know I’m here for thee, regardless. Don’t ask me to be happy about it, though.”

Lisa looks unsatisfied and seems about to pursue the matter when Bubba interrupts.

“Can I make a suggestion?”

“What?” Lisa asks, maybe a little too brusquely.

“Well, presumably Steve knows satyrs --” he starts.

“NO SHIT,” Lisa says and looks at Steve who looks hesitant to affirm it but finally responds with a nod. “Oh, you gotta get me some goat cock.”

The elf gives Bubba a positively murderous look and says, “I’m not going pimp thee to my fey allies!”

“It’s that or these filthy scum,” Lisa says.

“Hey!” says a man at a nearby table. The bartender gives Lisa a look and she holds up her hands placatingly.

Steve appears to have an argument with herself for about five minutes, during which time her companions finish their breakfast and watch. Finally, she says, “Fine. Let’s go into the woods and join a faerie orgy.”

“Can I come?” asks the waitress.

Lisa blushes and both Bubba and Steve give her a look. She says, “Not this time, love, but feel free to visit when I get back. I don’t wear out.” As the waitress leaves with their dishes, she asks the other two, “What?”

“How many people here hath thou fucked already? Maybe it’s a moot point,” Steve asks dryly.

Lisa kicks her under the table.

“I think it’s mostly been me,” Bubba offers.

Steve admits, “That was uncalled for. I’m sorry.”

“You should be, you catty bitch,” Lisa replies, allowing her affection to show through. She stands and announces, “Lead on, elf-pimp!”

Another patron looks about to say something in reply but Steve just says, “No,” as she rises and gives him such a withering gaze that he cowers in his chair.

When they are outside, the paladin says, “I hate thee.”

Lisa takes her arm and snuggles up against her. “Aw, I hate thee, too.”

“You both understand that this isn’t a healthy relationship, right?” Bubba comments as Steve leads them around the corner and down an alley. The ranger frowns and asks, “Aren’t we going to the forest?”

“No,” Steve replies curtly, stopping at what seems to be an arbitrary spot.

“You’re going to love this,” Lisa says to Bubba, practically vibrating with excitement.

The paladin crouches down and touches the packed, urine-soaked earth and whispers, “Alfheimr.” When she stands, two saplings burst from the ground a few feet apart and quickly grow into thin trees which bend towards each other to tangle their branches, forming an arch. The air within it wavers and then fades into an idyllic woodland scene, complete with the scent of fresh earth and pollen, jarringly out of place in the aggressively urban environment. The distant sound of music and laughter can be heard through the gate.

“Holy shit,” Bubba exclaims breathlessly, “Is that Faerie?”

“Uh huh,” Lisa says, grabbing both of them by the arms and dragging them through the portal, which unravels as soon as they are through. She follows the sounds of merriment as Bubba notices that the overwhelming vividness of his surroundings is not the only property of this place. He notes that his well-tuned senses seem even more acute, that he is acutely aware of his body and his feelings (currently excitement and wonder mixed with wariness) seem stronger. Nearly overwhelming.

“It’s… a lot to take in,” he says, lamely.

“Yeah,” the warlock replies, “It can take some getting used to and it is really easy to get carried away. It’s perfect.” 

Steve makes a noncommittal sound and just adds, “Be careful. Everything here is more dangerous than it seems.”

They finally reach a meadow with a bubbling spring, soft grass, and a large congregation of fey creatures, most of whom are fucking. Those satyrs and nymphs not currently engaged give the newcomers appraising looks but overall their arrival causes no disruption to the goings-on.

“This was a terrible idea,” Steve says.

“This was a great idea,” Lisa replies and, without hesitation, enters the clearing.

Steve sighs and begins to undress.

Bubba scoffs and whispers, “What are you doing?”

Steve gives him a look and says, “What does it look like?”

The ranger doesn’t reply, mouth agape as the elf finishes removing her armor and stands naked before her. He finally stammers, “But… you… we…” and gestures helplessly at the faerie orgy.

“It would be rude not to,” Steve replies matter-of-factly as a goat-legged faun with a comically huge erection takes her hands and urges her down into the grass.

“Uh,” is all Bubba can get out before a couple of nymphs slide up to him and begin to remove his clothes. He looks around for Lisa, but she is already naked and working out the logistics of having sex with the trio of satyrs clustered around her. She notices his gaze and gives him a huge grin and a thumbs up. “But…” he gets out before one of the nymphs shuts him up with a passionate kiss. He groans as the other’s soft mouth envelops his cock and lets himself be dragged to the ground by the weight of sex.

Lisa turns her attention back to her suitors and says, “If you weren’t quite to well-endowed, we might be able to make it work, boys, but I think I can only manage two of you at a time, sorry.” The one left out looks disappointed, but she says, “Cheer up, I’m here for the long haul. You’ll get your turn,” and then starts as a raunchy goat-man thrusts his huge cock inside her. “Whoa, careful…” she says, almost reflexively, but her demonically enhanced libido has already kicked in and coherent thought and communication are quickly slipping away. She’s transfixed at the enormous member being dangled in her face and grabs it with both hands, pulling it within reach of her mouth.

Bubba is unaware of any of this, drowned in a sea of soft, sweet smelling female flesh. He’s overwhelmed both by the situation and his response to it. He’s never felt more aroused, his lust an untamed and undeniable thing, and the beauty of his companions undeniable and overpowering. He recognizes the latter as similar to his feelings for Lisa and panics at the thought that he’s subject to more enchantment, but feeling helpless to resist. As his gorgeous jailers shift position, he feels a light touch on his buttocks and his head clears. He looks over and Steve gives him a reassuring look, which is a little odd as she’s being energetically taken from behind by her satyr. He pauses, assessing the nymph now lying under him, spreading her legs while her partner tugs on his cock encouragingly, and decides that, now free to choose, he thinks he’s good to go ahead with things. He hears Steve chuckle behind him as he slides his cock into the faerie woman.

Lisa struggles with the cock in her mouth, going at it at a number of angles, making frustrating sounds, as he body bounces with the assault on her pussy. Finally, she gets the second faun behind her and tilts her head back so her throat is lined up with her mouth, and he is able to get a good portion of himself in and begins to enthusiastically fuck her mouth. She wonders if maybe this was a mistake, but is too turned on to care, her body shoved back and forth between the two lusty goats abusing her from both ends. She grabs the one at the head by the balls and uses them to control his pace a little, adding a little heat as needed, to get his attention. He tosses his head like an irritated horse, but settles down a little, letting her get a comfortable rhythm so she doesn’t choke.

Suddenly, the satyr in her cunt throws back his head and bleats loudly, unloading inside of her. Both the sound and the sheer quantity of cum is a little off-putting, Lisa reflects, distracted by her own violent orgasm and then trying to swallow fast enough not to drown in the semen being squirted into her throat. Neither of the satyrs withdraws willingly, both still hard and seemingly ready to push on towards orgasm number two, but she insists and takes a moment to recover. Her throat and cunt are both sore from the abuse and she feels ill-used, so she roughly grabs the faun she just blew and kisses him hard. There is a wrenching feeling and then a flow of energy. She orgasms again, much harder, as she drains his life force and feels her aches and pains washed away. 

She has to push him away hard so that he falls back to the grass to keep herself from killing him. He lies, panting, and she just stares at him, feeling powerful and panicked at the same time. Without even thinking, she grabs the horns of the third satyr, who has been watching with his tongue out the whole time, and yanks his head into her crotch. As he enthusiastically licks up the leavings of his mate, she tries to calm down and get a handle on the situation, which isn’t easy during cunnilingus. Ultimately, her concerns just slip away in a succession of orgasms and she’s anxious to accommodate the next batch of suitors.

Steve gets up off the grass and says, “Thank you, Jerry, it was lovely,” to her partner, who sulks but wanders off to find a new playmate. She watches Lisa with a look of concern for a long while but is forced to stop by a rush of complicated feelings she’s not willing to deal with now. Instead, she considers Bubba, who is now working on his second nymph while the first slips off with a satisfied smile, hands on her belly. The elf goes over and sits on a mossy spot near the heads of the half-orc and his current paramour. “So,” he says idly, “It might be worth mentioning that nymphs are excessively fertile.”

Bubba stops thrusting and looks at her from atop the nymph. “What now?” he responds.

“I’m not sure how you feel about fatherhood, but you’ve knocked up one nymph and are well on the way to your second,” she says with a nod towards the impaled faerie beneath him.

“Um,” he says, looking panicked as the nymph presses up against him, wrapping her arms and legs around his body so he can’t leave.

Steve laughs and says, “I’m just fucking with thee. She’s a brook, she can’t have babies.”

Bubba just looks confused, but the horny faerie thrusting up against him demands his attention and he somewhat reluctantly resumes. He is aware of the elf’s presence and her attention and it heightens the already painfully eroticism of the act. When he comes, it is so intense he’s afraid he’s going to pass out. The nymph makes a deeply satisfied sound, then wriggles out from underneath him and follows in the path of her sister. While Bubba catches his breath, he stares at Steve unapologetically, given her voyeurism. Her body isn’t greatly changed from when she was male. Elfs are, as a rule, somewhat androgynous. Bubba finds her subtle femininity extremely alluring.

The elf, staring back thoughtfully, finally asks, “Do you want to fuck me, Bubba?”

The ranger nods.

“Well, you are in luck, then,” she says. She pushes him over onto his back and climbs on top of him. He is amazed at how weightless she seems, like she’s barely there. He reaches up, tentatively, to touch her breasts and she doesn’t stop him. She sighs and closes her eyes, murmuring, “I’ve missed that.” She raises up and shifts so that he can enter her. She leans forward, putting her hands on his chest and hanging her head over his. Her eyes open as she begins to move her hips and their gazes meet. He feels a jarring sense of the weight of her years and realizes that her snarky personality is as much a facade as her appearance and her gender, a mask for a creature with lifetimes of experience and a drastically different perspective on the world.

Sex with her is suddenly terrifying, which in the upside-down logic of sexual desire just makes it better. She stares at him intensely, riding him slowly, gradually escalating the pace. His hands explore her body, which feels both fragile and powerful, and he could swear she changes under his fingertips. By the time they are both heading into the final stretch to orgasm, her head has lowered so that their foreheads are nearly touching. Her chest is pressed to his but she barely seems to be breathing, despite her exertions. Her eyes are closed again and her body is tense. When her orgasm comes it is like a taut line snapping. Her head whips back, taking her body with it, her nails scratching his chest as she spasms around him, bringing him to his own release. His hands find her hips and pull her hand against him and he buries himself as deep inside her as he can. As their tension releases, there is the sound of clapping.

“Woo hoo,” Lisa yells from where she’s bent over a smooth boulder, struggling to clap while bouncing to the exertions of the satyr behind her.

Steve delicately extends her hand to make a rude gesture in the warlock’s direction and then leans down again to whisper in Bubba’s ear, “Your turn.”

“What --” he starts to say and then has the odd sensation of her body shifting, not like she’s moving but like that delicate frame is rearranging itself. He feels something grow against his groin and realizes that there is now another cock lying against his own. He blinks up at her, confused. Her soft breasts are still brushing his chest and the features of her face are still subtly feminine. She looks at him sternly and says, “Fair’s fair.”

“I --” he begins but is interrupted again as Steve lifts up and turns him over onto his belly, showing a lot more strength than he’d given her credit for. 

She lies back down on top of him and asks, “Are you attracted to people, Bubba, or cunts?”

“Is this a trick question?” he asks, turning his face to the side so he can see her.

“No,” she says, leaning down to whisper in his ear, “It really isn’t.” She pauses for a moment, adjusting her weight on top of him and getting her cock so it is resting in the crack of his ass, then asks, “How about it? Ready to try something new?”

Bubba is caught in a dilemma. He’s never felt any attraction to other men. But Steve isn’t really a man. Or a woman. She’s something entirely different. Issues of gender aside, being manhandled by her is really sexy. He’s still considering his response when Lisa’s face appears. She’s lying on the ground, facing him, and says, “You can do this.” There is a nearly manic intensity to her, her eyes almost glassy, and he wonders briefly why she seems so invested in this. She’s pointedly not looking at Steve.

“Um, ‘kay?” he manages.

There is a vague sound of approval from above him and the elf moves so that she can push her cock into his ass. It is slippery and he realizes that its covered in his cum, the logistics of that making his brain hurt. Weirdly, though, the penis entering him doesn’t. There’s an odd sensation where he can’t tell how big it is, like it changes to adjust. Being feeling of being penetrated, though unfamiliar, is highly erotic. He wonders how of it is him and how much is this place, but then the cock is fully inside him and suddenly is very real and firm, and the surreality of it all disappears as the elf begins to fuck him.

“Oh dear,” he groans. Her slim hands grasp his shoulders with an iron grip and pull him back to meet each thrust. While their previous sex was slow, almost deliberate, there is a wildness this time that he’s never seen in the uptight paladin. Then he notices that Lisa is no longer looking at him but at Steve and she’s looking back. He doesn’t really have time to reflect on the weird kinkiness of it all because he’s being rather aggressively fucked in the ass. He grunts with the assault, his hardening cock pressed uncomfortably into the soft grass underneath him. The soft breasts rubbing against his back become less pronounced as the tempo builds and the sounds Steve is making deepen. The change to the hand within Bubba’s field of view is so gradual he could easily have thought he was imagining it if not for the other evidence. It is deeply masculine sound which escapes Steve’s throat as he gives one last hard push and comes.

As the cock slides from his ass, Bubba notices that Lisa seems on the edge of orgasm, her eyes half-lidded and her breath panting. He reaches out and pulls her on top of him as he rolls onto his back. Steve has slid off onto the grass on his other side and he gives the elf a sarcastic look, saying, “If you won’t fuck her, I guess I will.” Steve blinks and looks taken aback. Lisa seems barely aware of the exchange and just slides Bubba inside of her with a satisfied sound and comes almost immediately. Bubba begins to fuck her, but his accusing gaze doesn’t leave the paladin.

Steve looks unable to move. He doesn’t look away and his cock hardens again. He looks, Bubba reflects, helpless. Somehow, this only makes the half-orc more aggressive. He breaks eye contact and rolls over so he’s on top of Lisa and takes his weird anger out on the warlock, who loudly and vocally shows her approval. It takes him a while to come again, by which time the pace is relentless and her orgasms are coming one on top of the other. With a roar, he spills his seed inside her and she lets out a cry which is equal parts triumph and disappointment. Steve is already back in his armor, back to them, and offers no comment as they lie their, panting and exhausted.

When he’s recovered enough to stand, Bubba walks by the elf to retrieve his clothes and mutters, “You’re a fucking idiot.”

Lisa, who is still lying in the grass, says, “Be nice. That was sexy as hell. Fucking by proxy is better than no fucking at all.”

Bubba, though, is still trying to process everything that’s happened and is in no mood so responds with stony silence.

The warlock gives him a disapproving look and gets up off the ground with some effort and no little pain. She looks around, then snags the wrist of a passing nymph and pulls her into a dramatic kiss. A moment later, the faerie stumbles away dazed and Lisa looks spry and fresh as morning. Steve rolls his eyes and lets out a deep sigh. Lisa punches him in the shoulder as she passes on the way to Bubba.

She wraps her arms around him and whispers in his ear, “You liked it.”

Bubba is stubbornly silent for a moment, then says, “Did not.”

“Liar,” she says and slaps his ass, turning towards Steve. “Okay, ground rules. No drama. You and me are done. No swanning. We can tease each other, flirt, maybe fuck.” Steve raises an eyebrow. “Just as friends,” she clarifies, raising her hands.

“Agreed,” Steve says. “Are we alright?” he addresses to Bubba.

Bubba turns and considers the elf, then nods. “If you two are alright. I’m not sure about being fuck-proxy, though.”

 

“You seemed to enjoy it well enough,” Steve observes. Bubba seems lost for words and the elf chuckles, adding, “Next time, thou shouldst suck my cock.”

“Be nice,” Lisa chides him. She walks over to Bubba and puts her hands on his shoulders, leaning up to whisper in his ear, “Sexy as hell.” With a peck on the cheek, she declares, “Let’s get back to town”

While leaving the meadow, they pass an incredibly pregnant nymph just before she steps into a large oak tree.

Bubba asks, “Steve, you said they couldn’t get pregnant.”

Steve replies, “No, I said they couldn’t have babies.”

The ranger takes a moment to process that, then demands, “What does that even _mean_? That doesn’t make any sense! Steve! Answer me!””


	7. Lisa Gets a Familiar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team gets a disturbing, probably (almost definitely) evil addition.

“In nearly a hundred years of adventuring, I’ve never run into more shit than I get into with thee,” Steve whispers to Lisa. 

It is hard for her to hear his complaints over the sound of twenty foot tall giants fucking on the immense oak bed they are hiding under. She just shrugs and tries to keep from grinning too much. The situation is very fun to her. Bubba, on the other hand, looks preoccupied. He’s looked like that a lot since their trip to Faerie. The tempo above them changes and Lisa holds up a finger and looks hopeful. There is a loud masculine cry and the creaking stops. Lisa pumps her fist triumphantly.

What follows is a muffled argument above their heads. Lisa whispers to Steve, “What are they saying?”

Steve mutters, “She’s complaining she hasn’t cum yet.” The voices get more heated and Lisa gives him another look. He sighs and adds, “He’s blowing her off.”

“Bastard,” Lisa mutters and glares at the straw-filled mattress above. There is renewed creaking and two massive legs descend to the floor. They keep to the shadows as the male giant dons a rob and leaves the room. A moment later, there is the sound of a drawer opening and closing, and less energetic creaking commences.

“She’s not leaving?” Bubba asks. There is a (relatively) soft moan from above and the half-orc blushes. “Oh.”

They linger awkwardly for a few minutes as the creaking goes through a number of different rhythms, with attended sounds of frustrated pleasure. Finally, Lisa says, “I can’t take it anymore. I’ve got to help a sister out.”

Steve looks alarmed and snatches for her arm, but she nimbly pulls out of his reach, exits from under the bed, and hauls herself up on a dangling bit of sheet. The elf just looks after her, dumbstruck, and doesn’t even notice Bubba slip out the other side and disappear.

Lisa finds herself faced with a naked thigh nearly two feet in diameter and a really good view of an intricately carved ivory dildo the size of a walrus tusk being put to vigorous use. The smell of female arousal and semen is strong and instantly turns the warlock on. She glances up towards the head of the gigantic woman but can barely see her face past her massive breasts, eyes screwed shut in concentration. She clears her throat and says, “Don’t panic, I’m here to help,” and vaults over the woman’s thigh to in between her legs. She finds herself straddling the dildo and, once she’s found her balance, lowers her face towards the woman’s swollen clitoris.

Now, certainly, in normal circumstances, anyone would be alarmed by a creature a quarter their size suddenly lunging into their crotch, but Lisa’s preternatural powers of persuasion override any rational panic, such that the big woman merely makes a somewhat startled sound and flinches when Lisa takes the whole of her clitoral glans in her mouth. From the warlock’s perspective, it is the size of a short, fat cock and she applies her oral skills just as she would to a man. This seems to garner immediate results as the giant cries out and arches her back, forcing Lisa to wrap her legs around the dildo which, thankfully, remains still, momentarily forgotten. Arousal is contagious, though, and Lisa finds herself grinding her hips against the bumpy ivory, rubbing her own clitoris against its raised carvings.

Bubba pokes his head over the hip and looks at Lisa in amazement, shaking his head. She catches his glance and gives him a thumbs up. Then, a moment later, she has a thought and points up towards the huge fleshy mounds quaking on the giant’s chest, giving Bubba a meaningful look. When he seems confused, she points to where her mouth is wrapped around the clit and gives an exaggerated suck. His expression switches to recognition and he nods. Applying all of his wilderness training, he traverses the difficult terrain of the bed, narrowly avoids a humongous hand clawing at the sheets in ecstasy, and then scales the nearest of the tits with a carefully timed leap. The giantess made an alarmed sound but it was quickly cut off by a deep groan. Lisa peers up to see Bubba attached to a nipple, doing his best to hold on while he sucks on it. He can barely get his mouth around it and Lisa giggles despite herself. Beneath her, the dildo begins to move again, which almost proves disastrous until she gets her rhythm down, reminding her of the erotic ride on the elk.

The body beneath them begins to buck and quake, sending Bubba tumbling into the valley between the breasts, smothered momentarily in soft, sweaty flesh. Lisa maintains an iron grip on the dildo and redoubles her efforts with her mouth but is forced to stop when the woman’s thigh squeeze together as she rides the final spasms of her orgasm. When she is finally still, she pulls the dildo out of her, leaving Lisa to slide down her slippery labia into the pool of fluids soaking into the sheets between her legs, face to face with a vagina opening she could fit her head in. A hoarse voice asks, “What is your name, clit-faerie?”

Lisa barely manages to scale the well-lubricated thighs and pussy of the giant to stand up. The giantess has propped herself up on her elbows to peer down at her over her breasts. Bubba’s bottom third pokes out between them, legs wriggling slightly as they try to find purchase. She says, “Lisa.”

The giantess carefully grabs one of Bubba’s legs and extracts him from his warm prison, holding him upside between them. “And this one?” she asks, with an amused tone.

“Bubba,” Lisa says.

“Really?” the giantess asks, skeptically.

“It’s a family name,” Bubba explains while catching his breath.

The massive woman frowns and says, “You’ve left me lopsided.” She drops him atop her neglected breast and gives him a meaningful look until he tentatively starts licking her nipple. “Good lad,” she says, then switches her attention back to Lisa. “Why have I earned such attention, Lisa?”

“Common decency,” Lisa says, indignantly, “It wasn’t fair for him to leave you hanging like that. Fucking selfish.”

“Indeed,” she agrees, then closes her eyes and moans deep in her throat. She continues, distractedly, “Might I ask why you were in the area?”

“We were robbing you,” Lisa states.

The giantess cracks one eye and says, “Oh?”

Lisa points at the golden harp on a nearby table and says, “Some rich prick hired us to fetch that.”

The large woman’s gaze follows Lisa’s gesture and she shrugs and says, “You can have it. It was a shitty anniversary gift. I don't even play. I have no idea what he was thinking.”

Lisa grins and says, “Thanks!”

The giantess nods vaguely and murmurs, “I think I have another one in me. Do you mind?”

“Oh! Not at all. Just give me a minute,” the warlock replies. She strips off her clothes, which are already soaked in giant cum, and pulls the dildo over to give herself something to stand on. Satisfied with the elevation, she turns around and rubs her ass against the still swollen clitoris. She’s rewarded with another deep moan from above. Lisa shifts position and then presses back to push it into her vagina. It’s small, but the thickness makes for a snug fit.

“Oh! Oh… ohhh... “ the giantess moans. A large hand comes down and cups Lisa around her front, holding her still while the huge hips grind against her, pushing the clitoris in as far as it will go. Huge fingers roughly mash Lisa’s breasts. Her hips and legs are enveloped by the woman’s labia and she’s soon soaked from the waist down in a mixture of her fluids and the semen left by her husband. As she’s pressed up, her feet dangle above the mattress, heels brushing against the entrance to the vagina. She’s feels like a living sex toy and she cums hard.

The bed shakes with another violent orgasm and Lisa is vaguely aware of Bubba’s cry of alarm followed by a thump on the ground below. The hand holding her lets go abruptly when the orgasm is over and, too slippery to gain purchase, Lisa slides down between the thighs until she’s sitting on the mattress, her upper body now nestled between labia and slick with cum. The experience is so overwhelming that she just sits there for a few minutes, reeling. 

Finally, Steve’s voice breaks the silence, “Can we go now?”

“Who’s that one?” asks the giantess.

“Dick,” Lisa says and then loses coherence in a fit of giggles.

“Very funny,” chides the elf.

“Are you sure you won’t stay?” implores their enormous hostess.

“I think you’d break me,” Lisa replies and then tries to right herself, which only results in a lot of rubbing and sliding, leading to more squeals from the giantess and a general lack of progress by the warlock.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” the paladin says and appears over the top of her thigh to lend a hand. Lisa doesn’t bother collecting her ruined dress, so finds herself standing with her compatriots, naked and glistening, staring at the golden twelve foot tall “lap” harp.

“I didn’t expect it to be so big,” Bubba admits.

Steve and Lisa both nod.

“We have no way to get this back to town,” Bubba observes.

They both nod again.

There is a chuckle behind them and they turn to see the giantess sitting on the edge of the bed, wrapped in the stained sheet. She asks, “New at this, are you?”

Lisa nods and says, “It’s our second big job.” She grins, “No pun intended.”

“‘Tis vexing,” says Barry in agreement, a split second before Steve punches him in the face. “Hey!” he protests, but the elf throws him to the ground and continues to attack him. Lisa and Bubba watch.

Bubba asks, “History?”

Lisa nods, “Oh yeah.”

“Stop, stop! I can help!” Barry protests as Steve bangs his head against the ground via a firm grip on his horns.

Lisa puts a hand on Steve’s shoulder and says, “Hold up a sec.” When the elf doesn’t, she gives Bubba a look and the two of them drag the elf off of the battered devil.

“Is that a demon?” the giantess asks, in the same tone she might inquire about a cockroach in the kitchen.

Lisa crouches beside Barry while Bubba struggles to restrain the paladin. She smiles sweetly and states, “I’m assuming our usual arrangement?” She glances back at the elf before adding, “Payment due at a later date.”

Barry nods in agreement, “Seems wise.” Lisa helps him to his feet. He holds out his hand, in which appears a squirming ball of tentacles the size of a grapefruit. Lisa looks skeptical but he says, “Trust me.” Then she looks sarcastic. “Fine,” he says, in exasperation, “Payment pending your satisfaction.”

Lisa shrugs and takes the ball from his hand. It wraps a tentacle around her wrist and a small puckering mouth appears and begins sucking on one of her fingers. She frowns and says, “Isn’t, like, an imp or something more traditional?” But Barry is already gone.

Bubba lets Steve go and the elf just stands there fuming and looking decidedly more male than a minute ago.

“Feeling cocky, I see,” Lisa observes with a grin.

Steve just grits his teeth and gestures with both hands at the squirming abomination in her hand. “What even _is_ that?” he blurts.

Lisa looks intrigued. She says mockingly, “Wait, there is something in this big old world that the ancient elf paladin has not seen?”

Steve growls, “I don’t get to hell often.”

She smirks and says, “Your loss.” After a moment’s consideration, she experimentally holds the ball of writhing flesh up to her bare breast and it immediately latches onto her nipple. She squeaks, then says, “Oh yeah, that’s the stuff.”

“Could I have a go?” inquires the horny giant sitting on the bed.

“I think you’re too big,” Bubba observes. However, even as he is saying so, the ball begins to grow, its tentacles stretching to wrap around Lisa’s torso and another mouth appearing to envelop her other nipple.

“Oh!” she exclaims, but it isn’t done. A tentacle slithers down her belly, growing thicker as it goes, and disappears between her labia. A moment later, Lisa’s knees buckle and she slides to the floor. Within a few moments, she’s surrounded by squirming fleshy appendages which end in either penis-like bulbs or sucking mouths.

The two men watch quietly as Lisa goes through a progression of thundering orgasms. Bubba finally comments, “I don’t see how this is helping with the harp.”

“No,” the elf agrees, dryly.

“I need one of those,” the giantess says with a sad sigh.

“I’m sure the demon could set you up,” the paladin snaps.

The giantess pouts and comments, “You really are a dick.”

“Currently,” Bubba says. The elf glowers at him but he just shrugs and grins.

Finally, the mass of sex tentacles retreats back to its original size, resting on the belly of the exhausted warlock. Eventually, she whimpers, “I’m gonna pay for that later.”

“You certainly are,” agrees Steve, pulling her to her feet ungently. “However, we still have this problem,” he says, gesturing at the harp, “Unless you are done with this whole adventuring nonsense?”

Lisa looks stubborn, then holds up the ball and says, “Fetch!” It springs from her hand, grows to the size of an octopus and snatches up the harp like it weighs nothing. With a weird rolling motion, the harp suspended in the center of its tentacular mass, it comes to her with its prize. “Neat!” she says.

“Multi-purpose,” Bubba agrees.

During Lisa’s throes, the giantess returned to her bed and they are treated to the rising sounds of her self-induced orgasm above them.

“We should probably go,” Steve observes and the others agree. They make there way out of the castle the same way they came in and start the arduous journey back down out of the mountains towards town. It doesn’t take long for Lisa’s state of undress to prove problematic in the cold alpine air and she ends up wearing a mismatched outfit composed of items borrowed from the two men.

So it is that they arrive in the court of the rich noble who hired them with a giant tentacle monster and two sets of clothes distributed between three people. Luckily, the staff are used to dealing with adventurers, so they are still admitted to see their patron. The harp is placed before him and Lisa’s new familiar shrinks back down to a portable size.

“I didn’t expect it to be so big,” he comments.

Lisa snickers and Steve elbows her in the ribs. Meanwhile, the ball of tentacles has climbed her arm and is perched on her shoulder. She swats at a penile appendage attempting to copulate with her ear and says, “That’s a no-no orifice.” The horny eldritch horror seems deflated but doesn’t press the point.

“Well, you have done marvelously. Here’s your payment,” the noble continues, gesturing to his majordomo, who hands Steve a large purse of gold.

“Why didst thou want it?” Steve inquires.

“That’s none of your concern,” their patron snaps. Lisa mocks him under her breath, resulting in another nudge from the elf.

The paladin says, “We’ll be on our way.”

The three half-dressed adventurers make their way back to the courtyard. Steve looks irritated as the ball of tentacles repeatedly tries to climb down the front of Lisa’s shirt. He mutters, “Can thou getest thine fuck-beast under control, please?”

Lisa protests, “He has a name.”

The elf’s eyes flash and he replies, “I am not calling it Pokey.”

Lisa pouts but the scene is interrupted by a shout.

“Die, hell-spawn!” screams a man in pale blue robes wielding a large metal club as he lunges at Lisa.

Pokey leaps from her shoulder and strikes the man in the chest, knocking him backwards in a mass of quickly growing tentacles. Slick black flesh wraps itself around in, loop after loop, until he’s barely visible. Toothed maws appear to inflict numerous small bites.

“Um,” says Lisa, in shock and unsure of what to do amidst panicked sounds from her besieged attacker as he’s squeezed in a tightening cocoon.

Bubba comments with alarm, “I don’t think it’s going to stop.”

Steve draws his sword but Lisa grabs his arm with a shout, “No!”

The paladin protests, “I am not letting your demonic pet kill that cleric!”

She glances back at Pokey and shouts, “Back!”

In seconds, the creature has retracted all of its protruding extensions and slithered back up to Lisa, climbing her leg. She lets go of Steve’s arm and the elf meets her eyes and says, “Thank you.”

Bubba crouches next to the violated priest, gently removing the mace from where he can reach it, and says, “Now, why don’t you run along to your temple and forget this little witch hunt or next time, I’ll be the one you have to contend with.” He puts the weight of his orc heritage into the smile which follows.

The holy man scrambles away without a backwards glance.

“Canst thou…” Steve waves his hand at the beast, “Put that away or something?”

Lisa looks down at the thing climbing her torso and shrugs, commanding tentatively, “Hide?” It stops its ascent and, with a disturbing fluidity, slides into her pants. She starts and exclaims, “Oh!” Then writhes and repeats, “Oh. Oh! Ah! Ooooh!” with a succession of surprise, alarm, and carnal delight. Her contortions stop and her eyes go wide. “Ahhh…” she moans, doubling over slightly, leading to Steve steading her with a hand on her shoulder. When she straightens, there is a pronounced swell in her abdomen.

Steve says, with growing horror, “It didn’t…”

Lisa nods slowly with a look of shock plastered on her face. “It feels so… weird,” she whimpers. The bump grows slightly, eliciting another, “Oh!” Her hands go to her belly, which now looks like she’s a couple months pregnant. There is a tense pause as they all wait for new developments, but nothing further occurs.

The elf looks very upset but remains uncharacteristically silent.

Bubba looks uncomfortable. He shuffles his feet and looks at the ground.

Lisa takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “Well,” she says, “This is a new experience.” She stares down at her belly and then looks at Bubba. “Something wrong?” she asks and is immediately struck by the ludicrousness of the question. He shakes his head and she peers at him. The explanation suddenly dawns on her. She smirks and snorts with a suppressed laugh. “This turns you on!” she exclaims.

Steve looks scandalized and Bubba deeply embarrassed.

She giggles, then does some experimental stretching and says, “Well, no worse for wear.”

The elf shakes his head in disbelief and blurts out, “Thou canst not be okay with this.”

She shrugs and says unconvincingly, “It’s kind of a pocket.”

The paladin puts his hands on her shoulders and makes careful eye contact with her before saying slowly, “An abomination of nature... from the depths of hell... has curled up in thine womb... to take a nap.”

She pouts and chides him, “Don’t talk about Pokey like that.”

Bubba comments, “You are a deeply weird person.”

She peers at him over Steve’s shoulder and says, “I’m not the one with an impregnation fetish.” Bubba retreats into uncomfortable silence and she can tell he’s thinking about the nymphs. Steve still hasn’t given him a straight answer about the whole affair. Her attention returns to Steve and she gently removes his hands, saying, “I’m fine. This is my life now.” She gives him a quick peck on the cheek. “I love you, but you worry too much,” she says.

Steve’s chin lowers to his chest and he looks defeated. Finally, he manages, “Can we at least stop with the fetch quests? I’m tired of being a burglar-for-hire.”

“Sure,” she replies chipperly, “It is getting tiresome. I wanna slay some dragons or something.”

As if on cue, there is a sudden burst of activity down the street, near the market square. The three follow the noise and hear the end of an announcement being given by a town crier perched on the lip of the fountain.

“... family must supply one male for service in the town militia, providing their own gambeson and spear, to muster tomorrow at dawn. All other townsfolk are encouraged to prepare for the siege.”

“What’s going on?” Lisa whispers to a nearby merchant.

“The army of the Necromancer is coming,” he says as he hastily packs up his goods. “Time for me to leave!”

Beside her, she hears Steve curse. “I have to go,” he says.

“Where?” she asks.

“She must be stopped. A siege will only provide her with more dead for her army,” states the paladin gravely.

“Who is the Necromancer?” Bubba asks.

“An ancient threat thought to have been put down half a century ago,” he replies.

“We are going with you,” Lisa states firmly. When Steve looks to argue, she narrows her eyes and says, “Don’t make me unleash the fuck-beast on you,” with a hand threateningly on her belly.

“She’s right,” Bubba says, “We are a team.”

Steve sighs, obviously not willing to waste the time to argue, “Fine. But I need to go to my grove for guidance.”

Lisa winces and murmurs, “Home…”

The paladin shakes his head and says, “No, not that one.” He crouches and touches the ground. A portal grows and the crowd around them, already curious at their conversation, is startled and falls back. When it opens, the elf strides through and Lisa and Bubba follow quickly. 

Beyond it lies a vast and ancient forest with trees so tall and full that they replaces the sky with a canopy of endless green. There is a reverent stillness, like in a temple, and near total silence except for the quiet sounds of nature: a nearby brook, rustling leaves, and creaking branches.

Steve says in a voice nearly a whisper, “Stay here until I return.” Both of them nod and watch the elf proceed in what seems like a random direction, disappearing into the dense woods. They look around and settle on some rocks by the brook to wait.

“How’s your new friend working out?” Barry asks. Contrary to his usual practice, his voice is pitched to a respectful low volume.

“Dammit!” Bubba curses, startled by the demon’s sudden appearance.

Lisa puts a hand on her belly and answers, “Taking some getting used to, but I’m happy.”

The devil says softly, “Yeah, I probably should have warned you about that.” He glares in the direction Steve went and adds, “I was rushed.”

“So, what do I owe you?” she asks warily.

“Blasphemy,” he replies with a grin.

She raises a finger threateningly and states, “I will not hurt Steve or disrespect his sanctum.”

“He’ll never know,” Barry says reassuringly. “I’ll know, and that’s enough for me,” he continues with a wicked grin.

She sighs and asks, “What do you have in mind?”

“Since I was a wee lad, I’ve always wanted to be blown in the sacred grove,” he relates.

She raises an eyebrow and repeats, “Wee lad?”

He shrugs, “I was precocious. Also, elf childhood isn’t like human childhood.”

“How to you mean?” Bubba asks, suddenly curious. Lisa gives him a look and he shrugs, explaining, “I was raised by an anthropologist.”

Barry turns so he’s facing both of them and puts his hands on his knees. “Well, kids, faeries are ancient spirits tied intimately to nature. When we die, we are reborn anew, still with memories of our old lives. For us, the first years of our life are more about getting our bearings and figuring out who we are in this new incarnation.”

“No babies,” Bubba says with sudden realization.

“Yeah, not really,” Barry agrees, “In contrast, each human child has a fresh soul, stupid and new.”

Bubba asks, “What about orcs?”

“Orcs don’t have souls. They are essentially angry meat,” the demon replies. Seeing Bubba’s expression, he shrugs apologetically, “Sorry.”

“He’s just fucking with you,” Lisa says, giving the devil a dark look.

“He’s only half-orc!” Barry says, defensively.

She punches him in the shoulder and then stands up. “Let’s get this over with,” she says curtly.

“Hey,” the demon says, showing the way, “No rushing through this. This is my childhood dream, after all.”

Bubba is left alone to ponder this new information in silence for a few minutes, then a burbling voice from the nearby brook seems to say, “Daddy?” He yelps and falls off his rock.

Lisa glances back at the sound but Bubba is already out of view. Barry says, “He’ll be fine. Half a soul is better than none.” A momentary expression of regret flirts across his face before he banishes it with his usual shit-eating grin. “This is going to be great!” he exclaims in a hushed voice.

The forest soon gives way to a large natural theater open to the sky. Soft grasses line the sides of the bowl down to a small spring. A scattering of brightly-colored flowers fill the air with an nearly intoxicating fragrance and the sound of birds and insects weave together in harmony, like music in a temple. By the water, Steve sits in meditation, hands lying limply on his knees, insensate and peaceful. Lisa is lost for a moment in the power of holiness here, something she’s never felt in any human temple. She stares at her best friend in communion with the forces of nature he serves and feels a new respect.

As far from respect as can exist, Barry throws himself back on the ground, spreads his knees, and whispers urgently, “Get sucking, I don’t know how much time we have!”

Lisa represses the urge to kick him hard in the nuts by counting to ten and then lowers herself between his legs, careful not to lie on her belly, then wondering if that matters. With a sigh, she takes the demon’s cock into her mouth.

“Yes!” he exclaims softly. “Slowly, take your time. Don’t rush it,” he implores, contradicting his previous declaration.

The contradiction gives her an idea and she does, indeed, slow down. Drawing it out and teasing him, backing off when he seems to really be getting into it, letting him cool down before resuming. The whole time, her ears strain for any sound of activity from Steve. In her head, she imagines several equally violent scenarios which might play out should her friend come out of his reverie to find them violating his most holy sanctuary. He mistakes her delight at the thought of the paladin beating him senseless for enthusiasm.

“Yeah, I knew you’d come around. Suck it, bitch! OW!” This last is a muffled scream as she bites him. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop,” he whimpers.

She’s finally rewarded by a bellow from below, “WHAT DOST THOU THINK THOU ART DOING!?” Barry comes immediately and hard and she nearly chokes but doesn’t let go of him, grabbing his hairy goat legs as he tries to scramble back from her.

“So good,” Barry moans, further proof he’s getting off on this. “Hey Steve,” he says with sadistic glee as the paladin stalks towards them, trying to hide his increasing panic at not being able to disengage from the spiteful warlock. He bats at her head ineffectively. Lisa notes with disgust that he remains rock hard in her mouth. She hears the drawing of a sword, followed by Barry says, “Whoa, okay. That’s not necessary.”

“Thou art a demon now, Barry, and I am paladin,” Steve growls. Lisa feels Barry press back against the ground as he tries to escape the point of the blade advancing on his chest. She lets the dick drop from her mouth and rolls to the side.

“He made me do it,” she says apologetically, trying her best to look innocent.

“Nobody makes you do anything, Lisa,” Steve says darkly.

Barry disappears in a puff of sulphur.

With a sigh, Steve puts his sword away and looks around for a long moment. He says quietly, “I never get used to how beautiful it is.”

Lisa nods slowly and concurs, “It’s great.”

He turns and offers her a hand. When she’s standing, he gives her a tired smile and says, “He used to talk about that incessantly.” When she looks confused, he clarifies, “Barry. He always talked about wanting to fuck here. I always said no.” He looks into her eyes for a long moment and then gently caresses the side of her face.

“Disrespectful?” she asks, lost for a moment in his eyes.

Steve shakes his head and replies quietly, “Not with the right person.” He smiles sadly and looks away, towards the way they came. “We should go get Bubba. There’s work to do,” he says.


	8. The Quest Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our adventurers sally forth to combat evil! Eventually. After they work out some shit.

“Hey,” Lisa asks suddenly, as they are walking back to where they left the ranger, “Do orcs have a soul?”

Steve sighs and says, “You’ve been talking to Barry. He’s full of shit. Don’t believe anything he says.”

“Oh. Good,” she says, then looks alarmed as they get in sight of the brook and see Bubba’s lifeless body floating in the water.

The paladin just gives an irritated sigh and mutters, “Damn pooka.” He strides up to and into the water, holding out his hand and proclaiming, “Begone!” There is a flash of green light and a significant portion of the water around the half-orc rushes away in the form of a free-standing wave. Steve pays it no mind as he hauls Bubba back onto the shore and turns him over.

“He’s not breathing!” Lisa exclaims helplessly.

Steve leans down, puts his lips on the ranger’s, and gentle exhales into his mouth. A second later, Bubba’s eyes open. The elf backs off and says, “Welcome back, big guy.”

Bubba coughs and sputters, “Thanks.”

The elf looks at him thoughtfully, then lowers his head and kisses him. Bubba makes a surprised sound, but doesn’t protest. As the minute drags on, Lisa has to sit down and catch her breath. When the kiss finally ends, Steve simply says, “Hmm,” and stands, helping Bubba to his feet.

The half-orc just blinks and looks to be in shock.

Lisa says, “Good news. Orcs have souls!”

Bubba gives a half-hearted thumbs up, then glances back at the water.

“Yeah, no more swimming for thee,” Steve says, taking his arm and moving him a further away.

The half-orc looks at him and says, “Why’d you kiss me?”

“Isn’t that how these things work?” the paladin says in mock confusion. “I saved the damsel in distress so I get a kiss?”

“No… ” he says, shaking his head in confusion.

“My mistake, then,” Steve replies brightly. He runs a hand down the half-orc’s bare chest and says, “Ah, the clothing situation. Lisa, give Bubba back his shirt and return my cloak.”

Lisa sheds her clothes with typical abandon while Bubba continues to look stunned, just staring at the elf in disbelief.

The paladin raps lightly on the trunk of a large oak and calls out, “Vivian?”

The head of a dark-skinned woman emerges from the wood. “Oh!” she says, “Hi, Steve!”

Steve gestures at Lisa and asks, “Do you have something she could wear?”

She looks the warlock up and down and nods, saying, “Give me a moment,” before disappearing back into the tree. A few minutes later, when the dryad emerges, she is carrying an opalescent gray gown with long sleeves. She helps Lisa get into it and then smoothes the lines with her hands. When he fingers brush over her swollen stomach, she frowns and says, “You don’t feel pregnant.”

“She isn’t,” Steve says, dryly.

“Oh!” Vivian exclaims, removing her hand and looking apologetically at Lisa, “Faux paux!”

Lisa smiles and shakes her head, saying, “No apologies necessary. I have a tenant!”

“Ew,” the dryad remarks.

“It isn’t as bad as it sounds,” she protests.

“It really is,” Steve replies.

Lisa glares at him and says, “You’re just jealous because Pokey’s been inside me and you haven’t.”

Vivian holds up her hands and says, “I am not getting in the middle of this.” 

The warlock doesn’t pursue the matter, instead twirling in her new dress. She exclaims, “I can barely feel it! It’s like being naked.”

“It’s silk,” the dryad explains.

“It’s wonderful! Thank you!” she replies, throwing her arms around her and looks about to kiss her when their eyes meet. Lisa is lost in their dark brown depths, seemingly transfixed.

“You owe me,” the dryad purrs in a deep, sultry voice, wrapping her arms around the woman possessively.

“Vivian --” Steve begins, with a warning tone.

She interrupts sternly, “She owes me,” without breaking eye contact.

“I owe thou,” the paladin retorts.

“Then you wear the dress,” comes the reply as the dryad gently urges Lisa to the soft, mossy ground.

Bubba looks at Steve, uncertain what to do. The elf holds up a hand to him and says to Vivian, “Be nice.”

“Oh,” she purrs, “I intend to be.” She runs her hands down Lisa’s body and Bubba swears he can see her fingers elongate for a moment, like branches of a tree. Once she’s no longer looking into her eyes, Lisa blinks like she’s just woken up, but does not protest when the fey creature lifts her new dress just enough to get access to her pussy. Fine fingers pry apart her thighs and the dryads head dips down to taste her. The warlock moans, allowing her head to fall back on the grass, eyes shutting as she shudders in response.

Bubba just looks around awkwardly, then sidles over to Steve and whispers, “This happens a lot here, huh?” He gestures at the two women.

Steve shrugs and nods.

The half-orc shuffles his feet, glances around again to avoid staring at the lovemaking, then steps in front of the elf so his back is to it. He asks, “So, you are going to be a man again now?”

“Why do you ask?” the elf replies.

Bubba shrugs, looks down, and says, “Just making conversation.”

Behind them, Lisa very loudly announces her first orgasm to the woods, breaking the sacred silence. Steve frowns slightly and peers over Bubba’s shoulder to see Vivian shifting positions so she’s straddling his friend’s face, her clothes shed and her own cunt now hovering over her lips.

The half-orc looks up and narrows his eyes angrily at being ignored. He moves to the side to block the paladin’s view and demands, “Why did you kiss me?”

“I already told you,” he replies.

Bubba stares hard into the eyes of the obstinate elf, as if trying to will him to answer truthfully, then spits out, “Fine!” But, rather than storming away, he drops to his knees and begins to clumsily undo Steve’s belt. 

He’s very satisfied when the paladin’s usual air of detached calm is shattered with a frantic, hushed, “What are you doing?” 

Bubba just glares up at him and yanks down his pants. For a moment, he stares at him, as if daring the elf to say something. When he doesn’t, he takes the rapidly hardening cock in his hand and then loses his momentum a little while he seems to be trying to figure out what to do with it. He leans forward and takes the tip of it in his mouth. He’s surprised at the unexpected jolt of lust this gives him, which is further stoked when the elf gently rests a hand on his head and urges him further. He moves his rough hands to the paladin’s slender hips and takes more into his mouth.

None of this is visible to Lisa, whose field of vision is consumed by dark brown thighs and the damp patch of black hair currently consuming her attention. The dryad’s skin smells of her tree and her secretions are sweet sap. The warlock feels intoxicated as she laps them up. Her senses become confused. Sometimes there is a soft woman above her, but sometimes she’s trapped in the unyielding branches of an oak, unable to move. Vivian, however, has an excellent view of the elf and she watches closely for a lapse in his attention, which definitely seems forthcoming.

A riot of emotions demand the half-orc’s attention and he feels the panic of having rushed in rashly to something he wasn’t altogether prepared for. His actions were taken out of spite, he thought, an attempt to get a rise out of the frustratingly obtuse elf. But he’s unable to deny how much he wants this and how much the kiss and how he felt during it, prompted this. He can’t really ruminate on it, though, as the unfamiliar experience of having a cock in his mouth demands focus. He is clumsy and it frustrates him, but each response he gets encourages him and gives him another jolt of desire.

The elf whispers softly, “Thou art doing well. Just mind thine teeth and don’t be afraid to use thine tongue.” He’s trying hard to keep his voice steady and failing. He glances frequently towards Lisa and Vivian, both to keep an eye on the dryad and because he’s anxious about his friend observing. The half-orc is certainly a novice but Steve can’t ignore the enthusiasm and desire to please. Despite himself, his urgings become more insistent. He closes his eyes and loses himself to experience.

As Vivian orgasms, she glances back at the elf and smiles slyly. She lifts herself off of Lisa and helps her to her feet, keeping hold of her hand so she can lead her back to her tree while the paladin is distracted. The dryad tries to meet the warlock’s eyes again but Lisa notices her companions and stops moving, causing Vivian to lose the grip on her hand. The faerie slides up beside her and tries to coax her into motion, but she’s rooted to the spot, dumbstruck by the spectacle. Finally, she gives up with an exasperated sigh and stalks back into her tree.

With a choked cry, the paladin comes, thrusting his hips into the half-orc’s face. Bubba is, unsurprisingly, surprised and nearly chokes on elf-cum. He recovers and, though somewhat disgusted, he’s really turned on and revels in a feeling of power. For a minute, he doesn’t move, letting the cock in his mouth soften as he teases it with his tongue, just to make the elf squirm. His hands hold Steve’s hips firmly to prevent his escape.

The ranger feels a hand on his shoulder and Lisa’s voice hot in his ear, whispering, “I think you’re going to kill him.” She gentle urges him back onto his heels and then helps him to his feet. Half-orc and elf just stare at each other.

Steve swallows and asks, haltingly, “Why didst thou do that?”

Bubba replies coolly, “Figure it out.” Impulsively, he leans in and kisses him, hard and quick.

After the half-orc walks away, Lisa teases, “I wouldn’t read anything into it,” as the paladin pulls back up his pants.

“So,” Bubba asks, “We have a quest?”

Steve, thankful for the distraction, says, “Yes, time to have another talk with Tess. The trick will be finding her.”

“Tess?” Lisa repeats.

“I’m sorry, the one thou callest the Necromancer,” he explains with a distasteful look. He adds, “I really don’t like that name.”

She notes, “So, you know her?”

He nods, saying, “I was around the last time she was active,” and kneels down to summon a portal, murmuring, “Stygia.”

“Wait, wait,” Bubba interjects, “We are going to the underworld.”

The paladin nods, standing and wrinkling his nose as a foul wind blows through the portal. “It’s always the best place to start where she’s concerned,” he explains.

Lisa peers through the doorway hesitantly, then says, “Bleak.”

He nods and steps through. All of the color seems instantly washed out of him and he appears somehow older, more tired and less vital. He turns and gestures them through, saying, “In many ways, it is the opposite of Faerie, a land drained of life and emotion.”

The warlock moves to join him and feels the effect instantly. Where entering Faerie made her senses more aware and her passions stronger, here everything seems muted and her emotions are instantly subdued. She has a sudden wild urge to throw herself on one of the men in an attempt to stoke them but the energy to do seems elusive.

When Bubba follows, he stops short, like he’s hit a wall, and says through gritted teeth, “This is a terrible place.”

“Agreed,” says Steve, “Let us not linger.” He gestures to a short tower in the distance, almost invisible amidst a tangle of dead, twisted trees. Dust stirs at their feet as they move towards it and the only sound to be heard is the cawing of crows but even that sounds distant. They trudge rather than walk, each step seeming to take more energy than the last. By the time they arrive, even the effort to raise a hand to lift the knocker takes a tremendous force of will.

Several minutes later, there is the sound of a bolt being pulled and the door creaks open just enough to cast a sickly line of light on the ground between them. A voice from inside demands, “What do you want? Who are you? Go away! We don’t like visitors here.”

“Open up, Harry. It’s Steve,” the elf replies.

“Who?” comes the curt reply.

“Steve, knight of the Emerald Order,” he adds.

There is a long pause, followed by a whispered, “Oh. Yes. I should have expected you.” The door is opened the rest of the way, revealing a winged demon the size of a toddler. He reluctantly waves them in.

The lowest level of the tower is spartan, not much more than a fireplace, a small bed, simple table, and chairs. The imp closes the door behind him and then climbs up onto one of the seats, where a wooden box has been placed to let him sit and still see over the top of the table. The three of them take the remaining seats.

“So, Harry. What happened?” Steve begins.

The imp shrugs and replies, “What always happens. She got a new idea.”

The paladin sighs and asks reluctantly, “What is it this time?”

“Elementals,” the little man says.

Steve sighs and observes, “It’s better than demons, I suppose.”

“Hey!” Harry protests. The paladin gives him a sarcastic look and he drops the indignation and grins, admitting, “Yeah, you’re right. We suck.”

“Any idea where she’s gone?” the elf inquires.

The imp smirks and says, “The elemental vortex, of course. Keep up, will you?”

Lisa finally interjects, “Can we just back up a second? I’m not following any of this.”

Harry snorts and complains, “Amateurs!” Steve leans over and punches him in the nose. “Hey!” he protests again, this time more sincerely.

“Tess doesn’t like death --” the paladin begins.

“Who does?” Lisa asks, incredulously.

Steve takes a breath and continues, patiently, “It is one thing to complain about, dread it, or fear it. Tess is… a bit more powerful, so she wants to do something about it.”

“What?” she asks.

“Fix it,” he answers.

“Fix it,” Lisa repeats, then adds, “By raising the dead?”

He nods. “For thou mortal folks, thine souls move on once thou art dead, so she needs something else to animate the corpses, so they can ‘live again’. Last time it was demonic spirits. Now, apparently, it is elemental spirits.”

“But why?” she asks.

“She’s batshit crazy,” interjects the demon nasally, rubbing his bloody nose.

Steve nods in agreement.

“What is she?” Bubba asks as his first foray into the conversation.

The imp grins and says, “He’s a bright one.” Steve looks uncomfortable. “What the elf doesn’t want to say is that she’s a goddess,” the wee demon continues.

“Wait, she’s a death goddess?” Lisa blurts out.

“No, no,” Harry says, “No, indeed. She was a goddess of life and spring. Of rebirth.”

The paladin sighs and adds, “Until she went mad.”

Bubba says, slowly, “So… we are going to try and kill a goddess?”

“Oh, heavens no!” says the imp, “Best we can do is talk her down.”

The half-orc rubs the bridge of his nose and tries again, “We are going to try to reason with an… insane… goddess?”

Steve shrugs and says, “I was willing to come by myself. Thou didst insist.” He looks back to the imp and says, “Thanks, Harry. We’ll send her back to thee as soon as possible.”

“I’ve been jailer here for a long time,” the demon whines, “Can’t I get a little consideration?” He looks imploringly at Lisa, who arches an eyebrow.

Steve follows his gaze and says to Lisa, “Up to you.”

Lisa gives him an odd look and the elf gives her an uncharacteristically mischievous smile. After a few moments of trying unsuccessfully to read his mind, she turns back to the imp and says, “Sorry little guy, just not feeling it.”

The imp gives her a murderous look, but the paladin steps between them and says, “Better luck next time, Harry.”

“I don’t have to stay here, you know!” he replies, petulantly.

“Thou canst leave any time thou pleasest,” Steve agrees, holding the door for the other two.

The imp glares at him and the elf just shrugs and closes the door.

“What’s the deal with him?” Lisa asks.

“He was the one selling Tess demonic souls the last time around. The Lords of Hell were not pleased when they found out,” he explains, then puts a hand on the wall of the tower and says, “This is the only place he’s safe.” When he looks back, he frowns, his gaze going past them.

Lisa and Bubba turn and see a host of shades emerging from the dead trees.

“This is the other problem here,” Steve says, getting out his sword, “Strong, vital life forces like ours attract the wrong sort of attention.”

“What do they want?” the warlock asks.

“Life,” he says.

She looks back at them. “They seem so sad,” she says.

“It is the nature of this place,” he replies with a shrug.

Bubba sighs and gets out his bow.

Lisa steps forward and raises her voice to say, “You’re happy!”

The crowd stops shuffling and murmurs a monotone, “Oh.” Without a change in expression or posture, they wander back towards the woods.

“Hrmph,” the warlock grunts in disappointment.

Bubba says, “You can convince them they are happy but you can’t make them happy.”

“There is a lesson to be learned there,” Steve says pointedly.

She turns and faces the elf and asks, “Would it help if I fucked them?” There’s the hint of a smile behind the words.

“Not really,” the elf says, putting away his sword and summoning another portal. “Sex here is awful,” he explains.

“How would you know?” she replies.

He grins and offers, “Maybe I’ve fucked the imp.” Hot air gusts through the gateway and he steps through.

Bubba comments, “I think he’s loosening up.”

She grins and says, “I guess he just needed a blowjob.”

The half-orc blushes and looks self-conscious. He says, “I... “ and then can’t seem to find the rest of the sentence.

“Don’t overthink it,” she says and steps through the door. He frowns and follows. They find themselves back where they started, in the market square, though now it is late and only a few souls linger. The three back their way back to the Buggered Goat, which is overflowing with patrons. Lisa fights her way to the front, helped by her reputation for setting the regulars on fire, and shouts to the bartender, “Room?”

He shakes his head and yells back, “Full up!”

She frowns and the man reflexively covers his crotch with his hand. Lisa makes her way back to the others and shakes her head. They leave and consider their options.

“I saw a place over by the bath house,” Bubba offers.

Lisa frowns, trying to remember, then says, “The posh place? That seems expensive.”

The half-orc shrugs and says, “We aren’t hard up for coin right now.”

“Fair enough,” she concedes.

They proceed to what turns out to be called “The Cup and Coin” according to a sign depicting a gold coin submerged in a delicate wineglass. Upon entry, they find the common room nearly deserted. Lisa frowns and says, “I don’t get it.”

Steve opines, “Merchants have the money to skip town. The scum at the Goat are stuck here through the siege.”

They walk up to the bar, which is an elaborately carved affair behind which is a rack of dusty bottles. The proprietor seems quite pleased to see them. “How can I help you, my fine people?” he gushes.

Bubba shrugs and says, “Give us your finest room.”

“Of course!” he replies, his volume increasing a step. “Would you be wanting a meal tonight?” he asks, hopefully.

“Sure,” Lisa says.

“Here or in your room?” he asks.

She looks around at the numerous empty tables and says, “Here’s fine.”

“Toby! Come and take their bags! Eliza! Tell the kitchen to bring dinner for three!” he shouts. A skinny lad comes to relieve Bubba of his pack and two young women start hauling food and plates out to one of the tables.

As they sit, Lisa asks the paladin, “Do you think Pokey needs to eat?”

“I’m still not sure what that abomination is,” he replies.

She whistles and then grabs the edge of the table, eyes wide and body stiff. She grunts and then relaxes, giving reassuring looks to the two men, who are half out of their seats. “It’s okay,” she says, “That’s gonna take some getting used to.” One of the waitresses screams and runs back into the kitchen when she reaches under her dress and pulls out the squirming mass of tentacles.

“You couldn’t have waited until we got upstairs for that?” Bubba complains.

Lisa protests, “What if he’s hungry?” As if on cue, little mouths appear at the end of some of the tentacles, reaching out for her imploringly. “See?” she says. The warlock considers the creature for a moment and says, “It’s kind of disconcerting that it doesn’t have eyes.” A eye opens in the black fleshy mass. “Oh!” she says, then frowns as several more appear, some on the central sphere and several others on the ends of tentacles. “Um… I take it back, this is much more creepy.” 

“Please make it stop,” whimpers the other waitress, hiding behind the bar.

Lisa glances at the food arrayed on the table and says, tentatively, “Eat?” The creature springs up her arm and disappears down her shirt. Before she can protest, Lisa squeaks in alarm and then groans. “Oh… oh dear,” she says, sliding down in her chair a little.

“What is it doing?” Steve asks with definite hesitance.

“Breastfeeding,” she says with embarrassment. She gives another soft moan and adds, “I didn’t know I had it in me.”

Bubba nods and says, “I read something about that, how witch’s familiars nurse from a third nipple they grow after they make their pact.”

The paladin gives him a look and says, “I have concerns about your mother’s literary tastes.”

Lisa takes a chicken leg and gnaws on it idly while motioning with the other hand for the waitress to come back to the table. She murmurs, languidly, “It’s safe, hon. Do your thing.”

The staff seems reticent but, with Pokey out of sight, things return to a relatively normal rhythm.

“So, how do we get to this elemental vortex?” Bubba asks.

Steve shrugs, “No idea. Never been there.”

The half-orc looks irritated and says, “Well, then, you should have asked the imp.”

“He didn’t know either,” the elf says, refilling everyone’s glasses without prompting, “Otherwise he would have tried to bargain with me. We’ll just have to find ourselves a wizard in the morning.”

Lisa squirms in her seat and begins panting slightly. Her glass of wine is snatched and drained in one swift motion, after which she leans her head back and groans, “Oh gods…”

Bubba comments, “I know I’m new to this whole town living thing, but I’m pretty sure it is impolite to have sex at the dinner table.”

The elf concurs, “He’s not wrong.”

There’s a lot moment before the warlock lifts her head and says, “I’m sorry, were you talking to me?”

Bubba repeats, “Could you not?”

“Oh,” Lisa says apologetically, “Sorry.” She murmurs, “Stop,” and sits up properly. After refilling and draining another glass of wine, she gives both men a predatory look.

“If we’re done, maybe we should just head upstairs,” the half-orc opines and gets a nod of agreement from the elf, who looks wary. Following the barkeep’s instructions, they make their way to the top floor, which seems to hold only four rooms. They go to the one indicated and enter.

“One bed,” Steve notes as they survey the vast room.

“It’s really big though,” Lisa notes.

Bubba sighs and shuts the door behind them. “Right,” he says and takes both their hands and drags them over to the bed. The elf sputters in protest but the warlock just giggles. Somewhere along the way, Pokey falls out the bottom of her dress and rolls under the bed.

The half-orc unceremoniously jerks down the paladin’s pants without undoing his belt and pushes him back so he’s sitting on the edge of the bed. Then he steers Lisa into position, puts his hands on her shoulders, and pushes her down to her knees. The elf seems about to protest, but the ranger cuts him off with a sharp look. Steve isn’t entirely sure why, but he complies with the silent command to be quiet. Lisa just looks up at the two of them in turn, like she’s in a daze. Bubba puts his hand on top of her head and rotates it so she’s facing Steve’s cock. She blinks and begins taking it into her mouth.

Steve moves to stop her but the ranger growls, “Don’t make me hold you down. You two are doing this. I’m tired of the bullshit. You want it. She wants it. Time to stop fucking around.” 

To the elf’s perception, the half-orc seems larger and several times more menacing and he’s reminded of the full-blood orcs he’s fought. Lisa, though, makes a sound of deep satisfaction as she takes his cock into her mouth, running her hands up his smooth thighs as she leans in. He gasps and places both hands on top of her head. She moans in response, continuing to move her hands up his body, under his mail shirt. The elf groans, a sound of surrender as resistance drains from him.

Bubba nods in satisfaction and takes off his clothes, his eyes never leaving the pair. When he’s naked, he knees down behind Lisa and roughly readjusts her body so he’s able to enter her. The deep moan of lust this elicits causes Steve to open his eyes and he finds himself face to face with the half-orc, who has hunched over the woman’s back and drives himself into her brutally. This breaks her rhythm somewhat but she makes up for it through sheer wanton lust and the elf becomes rock hard in her mouth. The two men stare into each others eyes until both begin to come. The half-orc grabs the back of Steve’s head and pulls him into a rough, deep kiss, Lisa’s body writhing in orgasm between them.

Frantic whimpering sounds from Lisa are what prompt them to disengage, release her from their mutual penetration. She gasps and collapses into Steve’s lap. He pets her hair as she catches her breath. Bubba watches them and asks, “There, don’t you feel better now?”

“Not done,” Lisa murmurs hoarsely and climbs up Steve’s body, forcing him onto his back on the bed, and shifts her hips until his cock is in position, then lowers herself down with a deep sigh. The elf pulls her dress up over her head and tosses it aside, all hesitation lost, and grabs her hips as he thrusts up into her. Bubba comes around to the other side of the bed and, after a moment of enjoyable voyeurism, climbs up onto the bed so he’s behind the paladin’s head.

Steve barely has time to get out a, “What --” when Bubba grabs the sides of his head, tilting it back, and forces his still hard cock between his lips. The burly ranger has to lift him so his shoulders aren’t touching the bed anymore, but finds the angle that allows him to push in completely.

Lisa drops forward so she’s supporting herself with her arms but has a much closer view of the irrumatio. She murmurs, “Just relax,” and locks eyes with Bubba, whose demeanor is a little frightening. Just enough to be thrilling. Beneath her, she feels Steve body relax as he surrenders to it, and she knows him well enough to gauge his desire. She gives Bubba a nod and he begins to fuck the elf’s mouth. Lisa orgasms immediately, but keeps grinding her hips, dedicating to bringing off her friend and sure she’s close to doing so.

The paladin isn’t used to feeling helpless. Perhaps this is why it turns him on so much. He closes his eyes and lets himself be used, riding their efforts to his own release. Spilling his seed inside Lisa is deeply satisfying in a way he can’t explain, more emotionally than physically. He wishes he could wrap his arms around her and hold her there but Bubba chooses that moment to pull out of his mouth and unload his own cum on him. He’s left drained and gasping for air, slick with semen and pinned under the soft female flesh of his best friend.

Lisa kisses him on his cum-spattered lips and whispers, “Your tits are showing.”

Steve realizes she’s slipped back to female and sounds a bit embarrassed as she responds, “Sorry, my mind wandered.”

“What do you want?” she inquires playfully, nibbling on her earlobe.

Before she can answer, the bed dips behind them as Bubba climbs up between their legs, parting both sets of thighs. Lisa yelps in surprise as she feels his dick brush against her ass. But it is Steve’s moan beneath her that tells her where the half-orc’s cock is going. She murmurs, “That.” The two remains entangled with each other while the half-orc fucks one then the other, finally collapsing onto the bed next to them. There is a long stretch where the only sound is their breathing.

“So,” Lisa says, finally, “That was the sexiest thing ever.”

The other two are silent.

“If this doesn’t happen again,” she continues, “I will have to kill you both.”

“Hey,” Bubba protests, “This was my idea!”

Beneath her, the elf says, “I think she’s mostly concerned with me.”

Lisa meets her eyes and says, more tenderly, “Yeah. How do you feel?”

“Sore,” the paladin replies, unhelpfully, so Lisa pokes her in the breast. She sighs and says, “This was a bad idea --”

The warlock says, “Dammit, Steve --”

Her words are stopped by the elf’s finger on her lips, and she continues, “-- but fuck it.”

“That’s the spirit!” Bubba cheers.

Lisa grins down at her friend and then starts. “Whoa!” she exclaims, then adds, “That’s a lot easier with two loads of cum up there.”

“Ew,” Steve says, “I felt it go in.”

Bubba rolls on his side to look and sees that Lisa’s “baby bump” has returned.

“Please let me kill Barry,” the paladin implores.

Lisa doesn’t reply but does kiss her deeply. When she’s done, she says, “We need to get some sleep. We have to go offer therapy to a mad goddess tomorrow.”


End file.
